Under Your Spell
by Take this to Heart
Summary: Lily's in for a sixth year she'll never forget when James finds out her true feelings, Alice's boy drama threatens their friendship, and happiness and heartbreak are separated by only a thin line.
1. The Dangers of Talking

_a/n: Okay, first of all I would like to point out that this is not entirely my idea. I was inspired to write this when I read the one-shot "Imperio Me" written by **foogli**. _

_I hope you like it, it's been SO LONG since I uploaded anything, i'm actually kind of nervous. Is that lame or what? Anyways, I really hope you enjoy my story! _

******D****isclaimer: I do not own. **

* * *

**1. The Dangers of Talking **

"Oi! Evans!"

I inwardly sighed. Anytime he said "Oi" and my name in the same sentence, it - actually, scratch that, whenever he says my name _period_, it means trouble. "I've got a bone to pick with you," James Potter called from his spot on the Gryffindor common room couch.

I glanced at my best friend Alice who was smiling cheekily. I rolled my eyes as she gave me a soft nudge in the side. Alice has this strange obsession with Potter and me. It's common knowledge that he's head over heels for yours truly, but not so common knowledge that I fancy him back. In fact, it's a secret that Alice will take to the grave if she knows what's good for her.

It didn't always used to be this way, me having to deny the onslaught of feelings that erupted every time he came near. I honestly used to hate him. But then fourth year came and he was considerably cuter than I remembered. Of course, once he opened his mouth I was reminded of why I despised him and was quick to squash any longing I had for him right then and there. Then fifth year arrived and the incident at the tree passed and I lost my best friend and Potter became much more mature than he previously was (and subsequently more attractive to me). Now here I am, halfway through sixth year, having to remind myself constantly why we would never work.

I'm very skilled at hiding it, if I do say so myself; like now, I simply ignore the butterflies that erupt in my stomach and flutter through-out my whole body. Once I got used to it, it was quite easy to look the other way…unless he surprised me, of course…which does happen more often than I'd like it to.

Just the other day, he somehow managed to send me a house-elf with a plate of cookies. Then the house-elf politely said, "Courtesy of your one and only, James Potter. He's a wonderful boy, don't you think, Missus?" I simply gawked at the poor thing. Then the little elf set down the cookies, muttered "Give him a chance," and promptly ran away! What James and Sirius must have had to do in order for the house elf to torture himself like that, I don't like to think about.

"What is it now, Potter?" I asked, rummaging through my bag to look for my unfinished Potions essay.

"I never would've guessed it, especially from you, Evans," Potter smirked.

I groaned and threw my Herbology book at his head, wishing for him to leave me alone so I could concentrate. He caught it easily and set it down on the small table, nudging Sirius in the side.

"Me neither, it's not Lily-like at all," Sirius chimed in amazedly, shaking his head. "But it's the only possible explanation."

"What are you two prats going on about now?" I sighed, trying to avoid looking at James until the last possible second. If only we weren't sworn enemies and I didn't have to be ashamed to find him attractive.

Sirius winked at me and I mimed gagging in response. He gasped loudly and put his hand over his heart.

"That hurt me, Evans. That hurt me deep."

I scoffed at him and went back to finding my essay. Sirius Black needed a _serious_ reality check. Half the girls in this school swooned when he walked into the room; it was almost disgusting. It was that way with all of the Marauder clan...well little Peter Pettigrew never had that effect on women much. But Potter, Black, and Remus? Well, they could announce that they had thirteen seconds to live and half the females in the school would throw themselves at their feet, begging to be their last kiss. Lily Evans excluded, of course; I would never stoop so low. Alice would, undoubtedly.

Even though she was contemplating on dating Frank, I could tell she had some lingering affections for Sirius. (They had dated in fifth year - that was the year I struggled the most due to lack of sleep. It is absolutely impossible to get to sleep with Alice chattering away about how funny Sirius is, or how gorgeous Sirius is, or how he should win a first prize ribbon in the 'Best Snoggers' category.)

"I'll only tell you what you did if you come and sit down," Potter said, crossing his arms and staring resolutely into the crackling fire. Black took this as his cue to leave, and he stood, gesturing with his head for Alice to follow him out the portrait hole. She obeyed without a moment's hesitation, probably trying to discreetly give Potter and me some alone time.

Not appreciated, Alice.

I frowned. "I don't think so."

He huffed dramatically. "Fine, I'll just go straight to the Headmaster and report you, good luck with your expulsion."

I had frozen and paled at his words. What was I supposed to have done? "Potter," I said tersely, "Tell me what you're talking about."

He ran a hand through his unruly black hair and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Only if you come and sit down."

I grumbled a few choice words under my breath and slung my bag in between us, throwing myself into the couch cushions with as much force as I could muster. "Talk," I growled, trying and failing to ignore the amount of space between us.

Potter took on a serious face. "I promise I won't report you to anyone if you just agree to one thing."

"Er..." I shook my head confusedly, memories of the past month racing through my mind. What had he seen? I hadn't even done anything that was severe enough for a report...unless...no. But...that was the only thing...

I took a deep breath. "You can't report me for nicking food from the kitchens, because you do it also!" I spat, standing up to leave.

James pulled me back down, a look of utter amusement on his features; his hazel eyes shining with mirth. "Thanks for that confession; that was enlightening, but not what I meant."

"Well..." my brows knitted together in concentration, they couldn't expel me from Hogwarts, they simply could _NOT_. "Re-report? What did I do? I-"

James blinked. "I thought you knew?"

I smacked him in the arm, irritated. "Obviously not," I said coldly. "Now either tell me what I did and what you want me to do this instant, or prepare to be hexed into oblivion." I had already raised my wand and was pointing it straight into his glasses; I was pleased to detect a flicker of fear in his eyes.

He hurriedly pushed my wand downwards gently and held up his hands. "Okay, okay. Merlin, Evans, relax."

"You just said that Hogwarts is going to expel me!" I said, beginning to panic. "Potter, if you're joking about this, I'll-I'll...I-just tell me what I did!" By the end of my speech, my voice had risen to a shriek.

James pressed his lips together before nodding. "Evans, I'm not comfortable with your antics."

"What—my _antics_?"

"I need you to stop putting love potion in my morning pumpkin juice," he said, solemnly.

My mouth fell open in surprise. When he does things like this, the butterflies all die and I'm reminded of why I used to hate him. "James Potter," I said slowly, allowing venom to seep into my tone. "You scared me half to death because you wanted to have a laugh and accuse me of the most  
ridiculous-"

"It's not ridiculous!" he protested angrily, as several first years ran out of the room, fearing yet another shouting match.

I let out a strangled grunt. "Why would I put love potion in your juice? You better watch your back, toerag, I'll Avada Kedavra your-"

"Lily!" he interrupted, alarmed.

I stopped short; somewhat shocked that he had seemed to believe my threat and that he had used my first name.

"You've fed me love potion, Evans. There's no other explanation. Why else would I constantly be thinking about you? You're forcing yourself upon me!"

I laughed harshly. "I'm forcing myself upon you? _I'm_ forcing myself upon _you_? Potter, you are insufferable!"

"You're the one who won't admit you have feelings for me," he said sourly.

My heart seemed to drop and I looked at him with panic poorly disguised in my eyes. Did he know? Did he know that I had dreams of snogging him and I suppressed the after-effects of these dreams all day long?

I remembered with clarity the time that Sirius had caught me staring and smiled knowingly; as if he was certain that no human could resist a Marauder. I experienced a startling realization that Remus always seemed to slip James into the conversation cleverly in such a way that I never even thought of getting angry with him. If Sirius and Remus…and even _Alice_ had picked up on my hidden feelings for James Potter, I would have to assume two things. One, my hidden feelings were apparently badly hidden. And two, Potter knew about them also.

I felt a sudden explosion of fury at Sirius for most likely blowing my affection out of proportion. It was ridiculous that I was blaming him and him alone but I never got angry at Remus. Anger...I inwardly groaned, knowing I had failed to keep a grip on the anger I was supposed to be lashing Potter with.

I pulled myself back into the present and lamely said, "I don't have feelings for you," sensing we were the only two left in the common room; the others had probably left since they were sick and tired of our constant bickering. If I was honest with myself, I was as well. Thoughts of what a normal conversation would be like invaded my mind, and I found myself more curious than I ever should have been. Lily Evans is not allowed to be this interested in something that involves James Potter. It was one of the unwritten rules of Hogwarts.

My heart gave an irregular beat I realized with a start that James was exceedingly close to my face. We sat there, awkwardly for a moment; just looking at each other. I bit my lip nervously and tried to prepare myself to slap him, positive that he would try and close the gap between us, or make some kind of a move on me. He was James Potter, after all, and I was Lily Evans, and when we were alone, late at night in the common room, James coming on to me was inevitable.

I was wrong.

Instead he gave me a small smile and murmured, "I guess I'll be going up to bed, then."

I felt his warm breath on my lips and I couldn't move for a moment. That sensation was almost immediately followed by terror as I felt a sudden burst of embarrassment. He stood up then, pulling away from me without even making a slight attempt to brush his hands against me unnecessarily, or smirk at me. I found with a sinking feeling that I was disappointed by this sudden change in him and I gulped; somehow convincing myself to try and have a good conversation with him in a heated internal debate that went something like this: _"Lily Evans, if you make one move to try and talk to him...oh… Just go for it."_

"James," I said quietly, forcing my voice to ignore some small part of me that was still screaming warnings.

He stopped, looking back at me with a twinkle of excitement in his eye. I didn't blame him. If I was James Potter, and found that the "girl more delicious than Slughorn's crystallized pineapple" (as he so alluringly screamed out at me one day for all of Potions class to hear) had called me back to her as I was leaving AND had used my absolutely forbidden first name, I would probably be pleased as well.

"Yes?" he asked, raising his left eyebrow in enjoyment. I noted with reluctant interest that Quidditch had done wonders for his physique.

"Stop staring, Evans, you're making me blush," he remarked casually.

I quickly ripped my eyes away from his muscles, which were accentuated very nicely by his fitting shirt, and found his face (which to my annoyance was not red at all, but his normal tan).

"What's it like," I asked, ignoring the prickle of my cheeks that meant I was turning pink, "never doing any work?"

His head cocked to the side as he watched me. "I do work."

"Well...I mean, you have homework tonight, no doubt?" I asked, clenching my hands together painfully in my lap.

What was I getting myself into? There was no way that this could turn out well.

He nodded, gingerly sitting back down next to me on the couch.

"Then how come you're not worried about completing it? How come instead you sit here and think up ways to annoy me?"

He clicked his tongue, holding up a finger. "They're not ways to annoy you, Evans," (I internally winced as he once again used my surname. I'd have to find a way to break this habit). "They're ways to charm you. Admit it, you're charmed."

I rolled my eyes at his smug expression. "I am most definitely not, _charmed_," I said, sneering the word with distaste.

He shrugged, my miniscule rejection rolling off of him easily. "Okay then, why are you having a normal conversation with me? When I tell Sirius, he'll think I've gone mad."

"I asked you something first," I said, rubbing my ankles together nervously, not wanting to admit that I had no earthly idea how to answer his question. "I'm being serious, James." I said his first name again on purpose, trying to make it clear I wanted no more animosity tonight.

His face was surprised for a split-second and then he ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. "You _are_ serious, aren't you?" he asked, closing his eyes. "These types of conversations never turn out well for the blokes."

"Sure they do," I said airily, delighted that he finally seemed to be considering an answer to my question. I quickly masked over my happiness with half-heartedness…or at least I tried to. I was very grateful that James was busy thinking and not paying attention to me.

"Er..." he began, furrowing his brow, "I guess the actual wand work I can do, that comes pretty naturally...but when it comes to the essays and bookwork, I get bored. I can't concentrate, I...I wasn't lying when I said I'd drank your love potion. Well, I was," he clarified, "just not about the whole idea."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my throat tightening when he turned his head to unleash his full gaze upon me.

"I told you Lily, you're always in my head."

"Me?" I squeaked, blushing darker than before.

He nodded, sighing. "I tried to do that ruddy Potions essay earlier, I really did, but you kept popping into my mind. Sirius asked me if I had been confunded; he said I kept staring off in space with this goofy little grin on my face. After that I just gave in. That happens a lot...so Sirius and me, we thought up a creative way to charm-er...annoy you."

I swallowed deeply, surprised. I had done this to James Potter. I had made him so distracted; his best friend thought he was confunded. "How do you pass?" I asked, trying to ignore the haze taking over my brain as he continued to study me. Talking with him was _so_ much better than fighting with him.

"Remus takes pity on me," he said simply. "Enough about me though...why are you asking me this?"

Why _was_ I asking him about this? I couldn't give him the truth; I had only wanted to talk and had the random question pop into my head at the perfect time to strike up conversation...even though James had just shamelessly gave me the facts; I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"What does it feel like?" I whispered without thinking. His eyes widened and I winced.

Note to self: always think before you speak, especially in matters where James Potter is concerned.

"What does what feel like?" he asked, turning slightly towards me.

Chills raced up my leg as his knee lightly touched mine. I cleared my throat. I was such a wart. Why had I even mentioned this?

"What does...getting 'slipped love potion by me' feel like?" I asked, unclamping my hands to scratch my nose nervously.

James' slight frown turned slowly into his signature grin. His arm came up to grasp the handle on my pack and he slid it off the couch, setting it onto the floor. Then, moving slower than I'd ever known James to move in his life he inched forward until his lips were near my ear, and our thighs were pressed together. "It's the greatest feeling in the world, Lily."

I shivered.

I had two options. I could jump up and run away to my room to think, and probably over-analyze everything that had gone down tonight, or I could stay here and ask him. I could ask him the most embarrassing question I'd ever had to, or ever would.

This was all so confusing, I wasn't making any sense. I was so sick of pretending he didn't affect me. I inhaled sharply, my breath hitching in my throat as he watched me intently. The haze cleared in my brain and I exhaled loudly.

He opened his mouth to begin speaking again, but I cut him off, my voice shaking as I said, "James?"

He smiled; not a pompous, James Potter smile, but a sweet...almost genuine smile. I'm ashamed to admit that had I not been sitting down, my knees most certainly would have knocked together. I opened my mouth, determined to ask, knowing that I was doing the right thing and it didn't matter if I was embarrassed…but I couldn't make any sound come out. He seemed to understand though as I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"What is it?" he asked, looking at me in concern.

"I think I want some of your love potion."

_a/n: so...what'd you think? _


	2. Excuses, Excuses

**Excuses, Excuses**

"I don't want to go," I pouted.

Alice rolled her eyes impatiently. "I'm starving!"

"I'm not going to breakfast; I'm staying up here for the rest of my life," I said, crossing my arms tightly.

"Lily," Alice said, pulling her brown hair up in a messy ponytail. "What did James say to you that could be so terrible? I'm sure he was just trying to be cool."

"But he didn't say anything," I moaned miserably. "It's what I said to him!"

This surprised Alice enough to make her stop what she was doing. "Lils, what _happened_?"

I shook my head, unable to tell her.

"_I think I want some of your love potion."_

_James' eyes opened so wide, I was sure they were going to drop right out of his skull. _

_My cheeks immediately flushed a magenta color and I looked away from him, cursing myself for being so stupid. I was tired; I had bad judgment; I was being a daft hormonal teenager. My nose began to burn as I realized what I had admitted. I had actually opened my mouth and told James Potter, the one who I could never fail to have a wall-shaking screaming match with, that I wanted to think about him day in and day out. I had told him that I wanted to get so distracted from my schoolwork by him that I'd have to crawl to Remus for help. I had admitted what I had sworn never to admit! And now he was gawking at me as if I'd suddenly stood up and proclaimed to be Hagrid's wife. I began scooting away from him, leaning down at the same time to retrieve my satchel from the floor. I intended to run away, really I did, but then I felt his hand on my arm. _

_I stopped what I was doing and just froze, staring the worn handle of my bag fixatedly. _

_Then he began laughing. Laughing! I tore my gaze from my bag furiously and glared at him. He took no mind. What did I even see in him? _

"_Silly Lily," he chuckled. _

"_Is that a no?" I asked, standing up and shaking his arm off of me. I didn't need Potter to make me feel like I was flying. I could use Amos Diggory; he was quite the looker. _

_He stood up also, his laughs dying away. "Of course not," he stated, looking down at me. "You just took me by surprise." _

_I didn't know what to say. _

_He backed up from me and sauntered to the stairs leading up to the boy's dormitories. _

"_See you in the morning," he winked, throwing my mind into a confused frenzy of activity. I stood there for a few minutes, staring at the spot he had been and then fled to my room, burying myself in my blankets and blushing to my heart's content. _

"Well," she said, turning back to the mirror. "Why don't you just forget all about James Potte—"

"I can't."

"—and come down to breakfast? Maybe you'll feel better and tell me what's going on," said, spinning to survey me.

"I'm not hungry," I said stubbornly. Of course, my stomach had to betray me. The constant ache I was feeling all morning had gone unnoticed to anyone but me, until that exact moment when it gave a large hollow growl.

Alice raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, you're not hungry at all."

I looked away from her. "Lils," she said, sitting down next to me. "I promise that I'll hex James if he even speaks to you this morning."

"No, don't do that," I muttered, flopping back on my bed.

"Why?" she asked, looking mildly alarmed. Her face broke into a bright smile. "You've finally told him you like him!" she accused.

"No!" I said quickly. "No! Well….It's just that…" How could I explain it?

It would do no good to curse James when he was plainly doing what I wanted him to. There was no doubt in my mind that he would have told his posse; that just added a whole new level of embarrassment to my predicament. Now all of the Marauders would be staring at me, grinning in their evil little ways, convinced that I was madly in love with James Potter when in reality it was just a little crush. I inwardly groaned. Yes, Alice was right. I had told James I liked him and I wanted to have him in my head, and now my pride was preventing me from telling anyone.

Why had I told James to feed me 'love potion'? He would probably take it literally and embarrass the bloody skin off of me. Now he was going to be even more annoying than he ever had before, claiming it was his way of charming me into thinking about him all the time. This was terrible. Of all the things I could've told him: "Leave me alone", "Get away", "I hate you", I had to say…"I think want some of your love potion". _I thought that I wanted some of his love potion? _I knocked my head against my mattress a few times and then tuned back into Alice who was prattling again.

"…get to you like this! He's just a toerag, remember? So you get up and you come down to breakfast with me and you eat to your heart's desire and let James Potter watch from afar!"

She pulled me up before I could protest and towed me down the stairs with surprising strength. And who should be coming down the other set of stairs? Why the Marauders, of course. Curse my bad luck and all the leprechauns in Ireland.

I gasped and struggled to pull away from Alice who was unaware of them. She had seen Frank Longbottom exiting the portrait hole and was moving faster than ever to catch up with him.

"Alice—" I began to hiss but Sirius cut me off.

"Hey Prewitt!" he shouted loudly, making her jump and look at him. "Evans," he said to me in greeting.

I gave somewhat of a grimace and refused to meet his eye.

"Morning, Lily," James said, running a hand through his ruddy hair. Merlin, I loved it when he did that.

"Hi," I said shortly, letting my breath out, which I just realized I had been holding. I dragged Alice away from them before they could say anything else, and began to rush towards Frank. Maybe they wouldn't follow us.

Why did I even allow that thought to cross my mind?

Of course they would follow us. In fact I could hear them now…or rather, I could hear Sirius. He was laughing loudly; at me no doubt and upon realizing this, I put on an extra burst of speed.

"Hey," Alice panted, struggling to keep up with me. "Slow down!"

I ignored her.

We got to the Great Hall in record time and I saw to my utter horror that there was only one section left to sit at the Gryffindor table. The section had eight seats, more than enough for the Marauders to join us. I groaned and turned to Alice, intending to ask if we could sneak over to the Hufflepuff table, but she was already gone, chatting animatedly with Frank. I sighed, trudged over to her, and sat heavily next to her. Maybe they wouldn't see me…

Here's yet another example of why I shouldn't be allowed to stay up late and humiliate myself in front of James Potter. I lose the ability to think clearly. True to my word, as soon as I corrected myself, they slid into the seats directly surrounding us; James next to me, Peter next to James, and Sirius and Remus across from us.

I quickly grabbed a piece of toast and bit into it, looking down at my plate.

"So," Sirius said loudly, adding to the tension only Alice was oblivious to. "You two got down here kind of late. Why?"

Alice snapped to attention, aware that the second cutest boy in school was speaking to her. "Oh, Lily was being stubborn. She didn't want to come down to breakfast."

"Why?" James asked, with a hint of glee saturating his tone.

I shrugged before Alice could mortify me further. "I just didn't want to. Why are you guys so late?"

James leaned forward so close that his lips were lightly brushing my ear, sending chills all over my body. "We took some time this morning to steal Sluggy's pineapple."

"You did?" I asked, momentarily distracted. I spared a glance at Professor Slughorn and noticed he was indeed staring sadly at the piece of egg in front of him instead of munching on his crystallized fruit like usual.

James laughed – his lips still close to me. "Yeah, Sirius thinks he's going to have a nervous breakdown in one of his classes today."

I let out a giggle that was totally unlike me. "I wish we had his class today," I sighed.

"Maybe you'll get to see him lose it at lunch; he doesn't know it yet, but we stole that too."

I looked at him, shocked – big mistake, Evans. His hazel eyes were sparkling with delight and I found that my leg was jiggling with his close presence. I began laughing, harder than I had in a while as James' eyes intoxicated me. His mouth stretched into a wide grin and he laughed with me; which for some reason only made me snigger harder.

Yeah, I had it bad.

I was vaguely aware of our friends' reactions through the not-very-funny-hilariousness of the situation. Alice was staring at me with a strange look on her face, Frank forgotten; Sirius was openly gawking, awestruck; Remus was coolly eating his bacon, an amused look upon his face; and little Peter was staring at us, his eyes wide. For some reason, I couldn't catch my breath. This was not good.

* * *

"Class, who would like to read first?" Professor McGonagall asked, surveying us from behind her spectacles.

My stomach dropped. "Read first? What does she mean?" I asked Alice quietly, raking my memory for any recollection of—

"Our homework," Alice said, rummaging through her bag. "We had to write an essay to present to the class today, remember?"

I gasped.

"I almost forgot it, but luckily Marlene came and reminded me. It's a good thing too—wait; you did do it, didn't you?"

I gave an unintelligible answer, while I rummaged in my bag vainly. I had meant to do that along with my Potions essay last night, before I got distracted by _him_.

"Ms. Evans?" Professor McGonagall suggested. I paled. Oh no.

"Er—I can't—er," I began to stutter out lamely and I saw James' face turn towards me.

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked, disapprovingly.

"I stole her essay."

I looked in stunned disbelief towards the sound of the voice and my mouth dropped open as he sighed.

"And why, may I ask, Mr. Potter?" Professor asked tartly.

James leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head and interlocking the fingers casually. "She wouldn't tutor me, so I got mad and nicked it from her, intending to use her work to help me," he confessed. My brain raced, trying to understand why he was helping me.

Professor McGonagall's eyes narrowed. "You do realize that is against the rules?"

"Well I wasn't going to copy it," James clarified. "I was just going to read it and hope it helped me understand things better."

"And did it?"

"No," he grumbled. "I didn't even get a chance to look over it."

Professor McGonagall held out her hand. "Well, if that's true, then please relinquish yours and Ms. Evans' essays to me so I can compare them."

I swallowed loudly. There was no way he could get out of this one. Not even with his suave ways of persuasion. Alice watched him, anxiously chewing on her lip.

James winced. "Yeah, I can't do that…it kind of got destroyed."

McGonagall's eyebrows disappeared into the brim of her hat. "Destroyed?" she said sharply. "Mr. Potter, that's considered vandalism."

"Well it's not like it was on purpose!" he groaned. "It was Sirius' fault!"

"Mr. Black, is this true?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I saw James sit down with a paper on the couch and I stole it from him."

Professor McGonagall rubbed her forehead tiredly. "So you stole Mr. Potter's paper which he actually stole from Ms. Evans?"

Sirius nodded sadly while James exclaimed, "I meant to give it back to her!"

"How did it get destroyed?" she asked, adjusting her glasses and exhaling loudly.

"I crumpled it up and tossed it to Remus, who ignored me. So Peter picked it up and threw it at me, but I was laughing at the look on James' face so I wasn't paying attention and I dropped it into the fire."

McGonagall looked at them both in disbelief. "Remus—"

"I feel like it's partly my part, Professor," he sighed. "If I would've just caught the paper, I could've given it back to Lily. Instead I just assumed that Sirius was attempting to distract me from my book again."

Professor McGonagall's face creased. Remus was a good student, and she seemed to believe him, much to my amazement. Was it some unwritten law of the Marauders that when one member blames himself for somebody's predicament, the other's immediately put themselves in trouble's path to back them up?

"Ms. Evans, are they telling the truth?"

I looked down at my desk, ashamed I had forgotten and that they were in danger of failing the assignment. Professor McGonagall took this as a yes and said briskly, "Well, in that case, Potter and Black, report to my room at six o'clock for detention. Mr. Pettigrew, ten points off your homework for engaging in Mr. Black's games, and Ms. Evans, you have until tomorrow to make up the assignment."

I nodded, guilt enveloping me as I realized James had been put into detention just so I could write an essay. I snuck a look over at him, but instead of looking angry, James was watching me, smirking.

I blushed and looked away while Alice began whispering to me in excitement.

* * *

_Transfiguration homework: Check. _No thanks to James Potter. Or…all thanks to James Potter. I sighed, feeling disappointed in myself as I regarded him with gratitude. If only I had acted normal last night, I would've finished all my homework like I had planned and I wouldn't be indebted to James. I stuffed my Transfiguration work into my pack, trying to push away the thoughts that haunted me concerning _why_ all of the Marauders had helped me. As the Marauders crossed my mind yet again, the familiar shuffle of footsteps coming towards me made me smile.

"A little late tonight, aren't we Remus?"

Remus laughed softly from behind me. "I spent the last hour and a half trying to complete my History of Magic scroll while simultaneously convincing Peter not to join James and Sirius in detention."

"Did you succeed?" I asked as he sat down across from me and spread his paper on the desk.

He looked pained. "No. He's going to go see Professor McGonagall and see if she will allow him to take part in the punishment voluntarily."

I let out a short laugh. "He's so funny sometimes."

Remus shook his head wearily. "I wouldn't call it funny..."

I gazed at the fire dancing in the grate, trying to work out the predicament. Peter was going to ask to get into detention just to be with his friends. Was this normal behavior for a Marauder?

"Although, I must say: if Sirius and James realize that he went into the detention just to be with them, they probably won't have a lot of respect for him—"

"Do they ever?" I asked.

Remus gave a breathy laugh. "I don't think so, sadly enough. And that's going to be why Peter's going to make up a story of how he set of a Dungbomb in McGonagall's study purely to spend time with them."

"And that'll make them have more admiration for him?" I asked; growing increasingly baffled with each knew figment of knowledge I was gaining.

Remus closed his eyes. "Not much, but a little, yes."

"So explain to me about the Marauders," I said, determined to work out all the knots.

He grinned. "And why do you want to know?"

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Lily Evans," Remus sighed. "When are you ever going to learn to be straight with me? I've told you once and I'll tell you again, I know when you're lying."

"Do not," I protested, sitting back in my chair.

He nodded. "Yes I do. You never ask a question unless you have a reason. And your reason is never, 'I dunno'."

I rolled my eyes and his face broke out into a wide smile. "Could this have anything to do with what happened in Transfiguration?" he asked.

I growled, knowing he had me figured out and then slapped my open palm on the table. "I just don't _get_ it! You guys had no reason to jump in and help James out, why did you? And now this whole Peter getting in trouble to earn respect just added a whole new side of things!"

"Peter is going to _pretend_ to get in trouble," Remus stated, shaking his head mournfully. "And as for James, he's our friend," I bit my lip, still not convinced.

"But…I'm not a Marauder. So why did you guys help me out?"

Remus laughed. "Jamesie loves you, Lily. You know this, as well as I do. He jumped in to help you, so we jumped in to help him. It's like this. Picture Marlene falling into a river, okay? Alice dives in to save Marlene, and she gets Marlene back onto shore, but now Alice is drowning. You can save her because you have a swimming talent. Wouldn't you jump in also, to rescue your best friend?"

I frowned. Remus had a point. "Yeah," I admitted grudgingly. "Yeah, I would."

He nodded.

"So, the Marauders are basically just a group of good friends, that have superb lying abilities," I stated, trying to put a definition to the name.

"Well, that, but we're also masters of mischief."

I snorted. "Masters of mischief?"

He suppressed a grin. "Blame Sirius," he muttered.

"Okay," I said, beginning to understand the way their mind works. "So that's why James and Sirius didn't care about detentions? And that's also why Peter will make up the story?" I asked. "They enjoy getting in trouble?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, that would also be why James didn't stop to think when he saw you were in trouble. He was put in just enough hot water to not get burned, and he got to save your skin."

I rolled my eyes. "Well he deserved to save my skin. It's his fault I didn't do the essay _or_ my Potions homework anyways."

Remus raised his left eyebrow, putting down his quill. "Oh?"

"Don't act like you don't know," I mumbled, feeling myself blush. "I know James told you about what happened last night."

Remus shrugged. "Not really. He just said that after you guys fought, you talked and then you told him that you were in love with him."

"I did not!" I exclaimed, aghast. "That lying little—"

"Okay, I was joking," Remus said, jotting something down quickly and then replacing his quill on the table. "He actually said that you wanted to drink his love potion or something."

I blushed deeper. "I just wanted to know what it felt like," I said quietly.

"And you couldn't do that with Amos Diggory? I hear most girls find him attractive," Remus said, watching my reaction carefully.

"Well—I—I guess I do—James was just there…I—he was giving me chills—"

Remus' eyes widened.

"—if you tell him that, I'll kill you…I don't know what came over me…" I moaned, and slumped onto the table.

Remus waited until I looked at him again to speak.

"Well…I kind of figured you liked him more than Ol' Amos after what happened at breakfast. I didn't know you could laugh like that."

"Shut up," I said, clapping my hand to my forehead. "That was so awful."

Remus grinned. "Sorry. Here, I'll make a deal with you. Since you obviously are too distracted to work, I'll let you use my Potions essay as a starting point on one condition."

"What's the condition?" I asked warily, not sure yet if Remus' help was worth it. I just had to focus…oh, forget it. Remus was right. I was in no fit state to work. My essay was already ruined after I had written, "The potion Marauder is very useful in the antidote to Amos." I guess this will be the end of multi-tasking for me.

"You have to help James with his work this time, so I don't have to," he said, smiling slyly.

I bit my lip. "Er…okay…" Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. I could spend some quality time with James with Remus as an excuse. Oh Merlin, what was I saying? Just because James had somehow managed to get past my defenses did _not_ mean I liked him. In fact, it didn't even mean I found him attractive. Okay, that was a lie. That was a total lie.

"Lily?" Remus asked, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Huh—er…what is it, Remus?" I asked, trying to cover up the fact I hadn't been listening.

Unfortunately, I didn't fool him. He gave me a knowing smile and then handed me his essay. "I was just telling you to have it back to me by tomorrow night."

"Oh…thanks," I said sheepishly.

"No big deal. So—" he began to say just as the portrait hole opened and the rest of the Marauders walked in. "Oh, for love of…" Remus trailed off, muttering under his breath as his friends caught sight of him. Sirius grinned widely and started to walk towards Remus, James and Peter following along.

I groaned loudly, disappointed that Remus and I wouldn't be able to talk anymore tonight.

James caught Sirius' shoulder and pulled him back, muttering something to him. Sirius glared at him for a moment before reluctantly agreeing and they all changed directions. Now they were heading up to their dormitories, Peter almost stepping on Sirius' heels. James looked toward me and grinned before climbing the stairs, leaving Remus and I alone. Remus stared after them, shocked. I was shocked too.

Was James actually allowing me to spend the night talking to Remus? We never got more than an hour at most, considering his friends were always begging for his presence. Remus complained to me often about how much he hated lying aimlessly in bed listening to James talk about how perfect I was. He still seemed to be processing that he would get to spend the evening Sirius-free. He startled me with a loud laugh.

"Lily…have I told you how much I love you today?"

_a/n: okay, so I know that this chapter seriously lacked James/Lily moments, but I promise the next chapter will have many more! Don't forget to tell me what you thought!_


	3. The Date That Really Wasn't

**The Date That Really Wasn't**

I inhaled the familiar smell of the library. It calmed me and allowed me to think about things clearly and without interruption. I set down my quill and read over my Potions essay, silently thanking Remus for his help. Satisfied with my work, I retrieved a new piece of parchment and smoothed it out, letting out a long breath. I dipped my quill into my ink and began to write slowly and deliberately:

_Reasons not to like James Potter_

_1. He's arrogant. _

_2. He's a bully._

_3. He harasses me._

I sighed as I crossed number two out. I had to admit, he wasn't a bully anymore. If he did hex someone, it was because they hexed him first and he was merely defending himself. The pranks he played were not harmful and just for fun. I groaned, receiving an annoyed glare from a Ravenclaw witch next to me, and flipped it over, writing:

_Reasons to like James Potter_

_1. He gives me chills._

_2. He's funny._

_3. He's matured since last year._

_4. He calls me Lily now._

This was not going well. So far, my 'Like' list was much longer than I needed it to be. Once again I flipped my parchment over and started to think of bad things about James. The library door slammed, jolting me out of my reverie. Madam Pince began shrieking and I let my head drop into my hands. The Ravenclaw girl stood up, looking annoyed, and she moved farther back into the library. I heard running footsteps and a very familiar voice say, "I just have to find him!"

Oh God. James Potter was here in the library about to round the corner and see me sitting here with a list of reasons that concerned him. I hurriedly folded it in half and stuck in my bag, bending over my essay just as his eyes focused on me.

"Lily!" He exclaimed, looking relieved.

Ignoring my urgent, "Shh!" he asked, "Have you seen Remus? Please tell me you've seen Remus. You haven't, have you?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, no. I haven't seen him since dinner."

He gave a strangled grunt, stomping his foot onto the floor. "He was supposed to help me with my Potions essay!"

I swallowed and said, "Yeah…about that…"

"What?" he asked sharply, leaning toward me. "What do you know that I don't?"

"Well, Remus gave his essay to me to copy since I was kind of…out of it."

"That cheating scoundrel!" he said loudly. "That was meant for me!"

Madam Pince rushed around the bookcase puffing slightly, her eyes flashing. "The library is not a place for talking!" she yelled, as I hurriedly stood up and started stuffing things into my bag.

"Sorry—" I began.

"Get out!"

"Yes ma'am," I muttered, rushing away with my head down.

I burst out into the hallway, feeling James behind me. "And teachers wonder why children never go in there," he muttered, speeding up to walk next to me.

"It's a good place to think," I defended it, allowing my walk to slow.

James matched my pace. "That's what you were doing – Thinking?"

"Er…no, I was doing homework," I said, pushing my lists out of my brain.

His curious face fell. "What am I supposed to do about _my_ homework?" he moaned, looking up at the ceiling as if the answer would be written there.

"Oh, er—well, Remus told me since I had his essay…that—that I had to help you."

James whipped his face towards me, grinning ear to ear. "I knew there was a reason he was my friend."

I nodded, suddenly nervous for no good reason. "Yeah…so, do you want to study in the Common Room?"

He laughed. "No! I study in The Room. "

"What room?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. What was wrong with the Common Room? "I don't know if you've noticed James, but Hogwarts is full of rooms."

He let out another laugh that sent warmth racing through my blood.

"Just follow me, Silly Lily," he said, smirking at me.

"Okay," I agreed weakly.

I followed him all the way up to the seventh floor, and over to a blank wall. "Now, wait here," he instructed me. He began to pace once, twice, three times past a broad expanse of stone wall. It was on that wall that the door materialized from. I gasped, as he stopped and looked at it with satisfaction.

"What _is_ that?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I believe it's what most people would call a door," he snickered.

"Well I know that," I said impatiently, "Where did it come from?"

He shrugged. "Dunno, but it's really cool, come on."

He walked inside and I numbly followed him, shocked that there was a room like this. Inside, it looked like a library had been boxed up and shipped here. Shelves upon shelves of books lined the walls, and individual books were piled on tables. In the center of the room, a comfortable couch that looked more inviting than the Gryffindor common room one sat, beckoning me to sink into its depths. A small coffee table stocked with parchment, quills, and ink bottles was situated in front of it.

"How did you find this?" I asked, shocked that there was a room like this at Hogwarts.

"We were running from Filch and we happened to pause in front of that wall to catch our breath," he told me, ambling over to the couch and collapsing into it. "Me, Moo—Remus, and Sirius were trying to think and Peter started pacing. He's kind of a nervous bloke, you know."

"Yeah," I said. "I know…but who's Moo-Remus? Is that a jab because of all the milk he drinks?"

James laughed. "I was going to call him Moony; it's a nickname we use a lot. Anyway, Peter was basically praying for somewhere to hide from Filch and we turned around to yell at him to help us and he was running inside that door."

"He didn't wait for you guys?"

"Nah, we got him back for that later though. It turns out you have to walk back and forth while thinking what you want," he said, grinning, "Pretty cool, right?"

"What did you think just now?"

James smirked. "I need some place to snog Lily."

I gasped, my mouth falling open in indignation. "_Potter_!"

"I'm just kidding!" He said quickly, sensing my anger. "I thought: I need someplace to study with Lily that has a really soft couch."

"Why did you add the couch part?" I asked suspiciously, crossing my arms.

"It makes me feel comfortable," he said nonchalantly. "Now, won't you join me so we can commence the tutoring?"

"Fine," I snapped, briskly walking over to the couch. "I should have never agreed to this," I muttered, certain he would attempt to shove his tongue in my mouth at the first given opportunity.

"You owe me," he said, running his fingers down my arm. "I helped you get an extension on your homework."

"Stop it," I said, jerking away from him.

"Oh come on, Lily," he scoffed. "You know you love hanging out with me."

"Not when you're like this," I mumbled crossly. _Face it Lily. He tricked you. You thought that he had changed, ut it was all an act to make you fall for him. What a devious little conniving prat!_ I glared at him, intending to make him study on his own, but he was looking at me with nothing but regret in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, frowning. "For some reason I think girls like the charming me."

"They do," I sighed, frustrated with my inability to not talk to him. Lily Evans is not allowed to speak to James Potter…even when he apologizes and looks adorable while doing it. My heart melted at his lips forming the signature pout of a small child, and at how his eyes got big and pleading. "I just don't."

"Oh," he said, seeming to file this away in memory. "Then…okay. We need to get to studying, eh?"

I nodded reluctantly, knowing that I didn't want James to fail no matter how naïve he could be at times. An hour later, I was laughing. Actually laughing at a joke he had made! The tutoring had gone extremely well (I didn't know _why_ Remus complained), he was already done with his essay; although I couldn't help but think maybe he listened to me simply on a mission to impress.

"You should borrow Remus' essays more often," he said, his eyes raking over me. "You're much more patient."

"Am I?" I asked, marveling at his perfect smile.

He nodded. "Not to mention more attractive than him as well."

I snorted. "I have a feeling some of the girls in the school might beg to differ."

"Like whom?" he asked, suddenly irritated.

I shrugged, slightly uncomfortable under the intensity of his gaze. "Er…Mary, for one. And that one cow, Rita."

"Rita?" James asked in outrage. "She thinks Remus is more snog-worthy than you?"

I nodded, giggling at the absurdity of it all.

James shivered. "She's lucky to get Peter."

I slapped him playfully, trying to bite back a smile as I admonished him. "He's your friend!"

Not able to keep a straight face at his guilty expression, I shook with laughter until I eventually sank back into the pillows breathing in deeply. I smelled James, creating little flutters in my stomach, and I also smelled books, making me relaxed. Kind of an oxymoron, but I don't attempt to understand my brain.

"Lily," he murmured quietly, "you can use my shoulder as a pillow, if you want..."

"I've got cushions, thanks," I said tiredly, almost immediately regretting my decision to keep up the Lily-does-not-fancy-James-charade. "So this is The Room," I said contentedly. "I like The Room."

I heard him chuckle lowly next to me. "Yeah, it's actually called The Room of Requirement according to some house-elves in the kitchens, but Sirius and I decided we like The Room better."

"Good choice," I said, smiling.

After a moment of silence he spoke. "Thanks for helping me with my homework tonight, Lily. I'm glad you did."

"Yes, James," I said, opening my eyes. "I think you've mentioned that."

"I think I have too."

He brought his hand up and stroked my cheekbone lightly. I shivered and leaned into his touch before I could process what had happened. As I realized he was now cradling my cheek in his hand, I moved away, quickly standing up and upsetting my bag slung on top of me. I blushed as it fell to the floor and James hurriedly bent over. "I'll get that for you."

I noticed too late that my list had slipped onto the floor and his hand reached toward it. I gave a whimper of some indefinable emotion and hastily used my foot to sweep everything away from him. I dropped to my knees, scrambling to put everything back in my bag. Only then did I stand up, flushing deeper than before.

"I should go," I said breathlessly.

"Was that my name, I saw?" James asked, squinting at me carefully; a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"N—No, that was James Smith," I lied wildly.

"Why was his name on your paper?" he asked, confused.

"Prefect duties," I said, cursing my failure to think under pressure.

"But—"

"It doesn't matter," I said harshly.

He didn't answer for a while. "Well…let me walk you back to the common room," he murmured finally.

I nodded, rushing ahead of him.

He caught up with me half way down the hall. "Lily, what's the matter?"

"What time is it? Are we after hours?" I asked, my eyes darting at every shadow.

He shook his head. "I think we have a few more minutes, calm down."

I jumped as he touched my shoulder and he frowned.

"Merlin, Lily! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I snapped, and then seeing his taken aback expression I softened my tone. "I'm just...stressed that's all." _An bloody embarrassed that you saw my list. _"What if we get caught?"

"Do you know what I do when I'm stressed?" he asked, his face spreading into that ruddy grin.

"What?" I asked, grudgingly interested.

"I fly."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, the Quidditch star claims that he flies to relax."

"It's true," he insisted, ignoring my distaste. "Let me show you!"

"Excuse me?" I asked. What was he saying? Did he want to take me flying? When would we have time? I forced myself to breathe slower; which wasn't easy considering I kept imagining Filch around the next corner.

"Let me show you," he repeated encouragingly. "You'll love it! With the wind, and the fresh air…it'll help you unwind."

"James…." I said uncertainly.

"Lily."

I groaned, dragging a sweaty palm down the side of my face. "What if we fall off?"

He laughed loudly, a smirk taking the place of his smile. "We won't."

* * *

Why had I agreed to this? Why on the name of Merlin's grave did I agree to meet James in the common room at one o'clock, the same night I was such a worry-wart about being out after hours? One o'clock was _definitely_ over curfew. I was disappointed that Alice was nowhere to be found. I would've rather liked her pep talks. I could definitely use one. It was one fifteen and she was gone. Not in her bed, not in the bathroom, not passed out on the hearthrug. I even snuck up to the boys' dorm to check the beds which consisted of a very embarrassed me, a confused James, and a highly amused Sirius. _Why was he even awake anyway? _I thought sourly as my cheeks blazed at the memory.

I wondered if James was already down there. I didn't want to be early, but I didn't want to be late…and not being able to take the wait any longer, I crept downstairs just as the portrait hole swung open. Thinking it was our head of house, Professor McGonagall here to do a surprise inspection (even though I had no knowledge of those actually existing) I dove behind the couch, clutching my knees to my chest. There was a silence and then feet plunking up the stairs. Thinking it was safe, I rose, only to see my best friend standing there with a dazed grin on her face.

"_Alice_?" I all but shrieked in surprise.

She jumped about half a mile in the air and grabbed her chest. "Lily! Hobgoblins, you scared me!"

"What are you doing down here at this hour?" I asked; my eyes wide in astonishment.

"What are _you_ doing down here?" she countered, making me squirm in unease.

"Er…I asked you first," I answered lamely.

She froze, her eyes darted to the left and she shrugged. "I came to stare at the fire."

"Did not," I scoffed. "I've been awake, and you haven't been in your bed since I checked!"

"When did you check?" she asked warily.

"I wanted to ask you something and I checked at eleven and you were missing!"

"Well that's when I came down," she said.

"Alice, I heard the portrait open and…and I heard feet!" I accused, going so far as to point my finger in her direction.

"I went outside to the hallway because it got too hot in here," she said, sighing deeply. "And before you ask, those footsteps must have been your imagination. Maybe it was somebody upstairs who couldn't sleep and they were pacing."

I frowned, thinking over her explanation. Something didn't add up.

"Why are you down here?" she asked suspiciously.

"I…came to…stare…at the fire," I muttered, not looking her in the eyes.

"That's what I thought," she said curtly. And with the closest thing to a glower I'd ever gotten from my best friend, she brushed past me and tore up the stairs.

I collapsed on the couch, groaning and glancing at the fire in annoyance. Only then did I realize that the fire was extinguished. I bolted upright, intending to march up the stairs and demand why Alice had lied to me, but two things stopped me. One, I had lied right back to her and two, footsteps were descending the stairs, creating so many butterflies I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to.

His face peered into the room and he smiled warmly as he caught sight of me. "Hey, Lily," he said cordially. "I heard you…who were you fighting with?"

"I wasn't fighting," I muttered irately. "I was having a talk with…Alice."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he cringed, sitting down beside me and rubbing my rigid back. I stood up almost immediately.

"James, I'm not sure that this flight is a good idea. I mean, we have classes tomorrow, and it's already so late…I don't know why I agreed to come. I need to just go to bed. And what if someone catches us? What'll our excuse be 'we went to look at the fire'?"

"The fire?" he asked, trying not to look disappointed.

"Never mind. All I'm saying is I'm too jumpy to go and try to relax tonight."

"Isn't that an oxymoron or something of the sort?" he wondered, unfurling a cloak as he stood up.

"I don't know," I huffed, slapping some red hair out of my face. Yes James, it probably was an oxymoron. It probably was an oxymoron because I'm slowly losing my mind and you're the only one smart enough to know it.

"Look, I you need to trust me, Lily. I promise we won't fall off, if that's what you're worried about—"

"I already told you, you prat, I'm scared someone will see us wandering the corridors at night!"

Much to my irritation, he smiled. "You don't have to worry about that. I have an invisibility cloak."

I stopped in the middle of my breath for my next retort. "You…you have a…James, do you know how rare those are?"

He grinned wickedly. "Yeah, it was my father's. He passed it down to me. How do you think we Marauders are never caught as we pull our pranks?"

"That's big enough for all of you?" I asked skeptically.

"If we squeeze and squat," he said simply. "Now, come on Evans, it's time for a night you won't ever forget."

I was defeated. I was defeated the moment he had come down the stairs. How was I supposed to refuse a request made by James Potter? Especially when he was talking reason and I was just nervous and worked up over Alice and my…could you call it a cat-fight? It was more of a bickering. Maybe James was right; maybe I was just an overzealous student who had to abide by the rules to feel comfortable. Maybe I needed to become uncomfortable in order to feel full-filled in my education at Hogwarts, because right now I couldn't help but think that something was missing.

He swung the cloak over his back which disappeared instantly and then lifted up his arm. "Ready?" he asked.

I obeyed without thinking, much like Alice had the day that Sirius had motioned her out of the common room; the day when all of this had begun. I crouched under the cloak with him and he swung it around us both, holding it tightly at the folds.

Once the cloak was closed around us, my breath became shallow. I realized with acute senses that the whole left side of my body was pressed against James. I took a deep breath and he smiled at me, his face enticingly close to mine.

"Let's go," I said bravely, attempting to forget our close proximity.

Needless to say, it didn't work.

This was worse than the couch.

I became more aware of his nearness as we stole through the castle, the pitch blackness closing in on all sides. I instinctively shrunk into James, inhaling his scent greedily; it was more concentrated than earlier, and much more heavenly. I felt him place an arm around me, pulling me tighter in to his chest, which I was pleased I could feel beneath the pajama shirt. It was hard and muscular and I felt his steady heart beat increase just a little as I didn't pull away from his hold. I felt safe in it. I felt safe with him.

James: the Marauder who had been in this castle plenty of nights before this. So many nights in fact, that he seemed to have memorized the way around. As my eyes became more adjusted, to the faintly moonlit hallways, I could see with growing puzzlement that we weren't headed to the front doors. Instead we went behind many tapestries and through many corridors that I had never set foot in before. It was kind of fun, this rule-breaking thing. All too suddenly, I found myself outside. James had slipped the cloak from over us and it was now lying discarded at our feet. He slowly lifted his arm from around me and muttered, "Accio broom."

It came hurtling toward us; he shot out a hand and easily grabbed it, smiling as he slung his leg over it. "Lily, in order to fly, you have to get on the broom," he said jokingly, his face more alive than I had ever seen it.

I knew why in a few moments' time. I climbed onto the back and immediately felt it dip down lower. I snaked my arms around James' back and clung onto him tightly, terrified I would fall.

"Not that I don't mind the close-contact," he chuckled teasingly. "But I feel the need to assure you that you won't fall."

"How do you know?" I asked, my face pressed against his warm back.

"You're lighter than Sirius, and lemme tell you, he never held on half as hard as you are."

I growled. "Are you complaining?"

"No, no!" he said quickly, but I had already loosened my grip on him.

"Okay," I said bracingly. "I'm ready."

He inhaled and kicked off; I instinctively returned to my previous grip on James' abdomen as we sailed through the air effortlessly. He was a skilled flier, I had to admit that. I found myself relaxing for a few minutes subconsciously, only to have him plunge into a complicated Quidditch trick a few seconds later. After a few times of his startling maneuvers, I realized that he was doing it on purpose. He liked feeling me grasping onto him like he was the only thing left in the world. He _liked_ hearing me scream and pull myself against him in terror. He _liked_ hearing me laugh as he steadied out the broom expertly and my heart returned to my chest.

"I hate you James Potter," I grumbled as he performed a particularly unexpected loopy-de-loop and I went so far as to wrap my leg around his to ensure I didn't drop off.

His body shook as he roared with laughter and I disentangled myself from him. This was so unfair. He knew I was nervous about flying and he used that to his advantage. I couldn't bring myself to complain though, as after a while he had stopped scaring the living daylights out of me and was now pleasantly coasting, pausing now and then to watch an owl or survey the ground peacefully. My arms were draped around his waist and I began to feel drowsy as we meandered along.

"Thanks for coming on this date with me, Lily," he said into the early morning, breaking the still silence that had fallen around us.

My ears instantly perked up and I straightened slightly, still resting my cheek against him.

"This isn't a date, Potter," I mumbled.

He chuckled. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

_a/n: Review, review, review! **PLEASE! **Does it sound like I'm begging? Because I am. What was your favorite or least favorite part?_


	4. Throwing Books and Sprouting Flowers

**Throwing Books and Sprouting Flowers**

I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say to my best friend. Were we still best friends? I really hoped we were. Neither of us had mentioned the scene in the common room last night. Alice woke me up this morning, telling me breakfast was already over and I shouldn't be late for class. I thanked her and she smiled, but I couldn't help feeling that something was different between us. Her smile didn't radiate sunshine like it normally did, even on the dreariest of days. Today it was reserved; strained almost. She waited for me to get dressed and I could sense her question of why I didn't wake up on my own, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her about James' and my late night excursion. I was almost offended that she didn't wake me up for breakfast. That's what she would've done any other day. Now I was forced to sit in hunger until lunchtime. I pushed these thoughts from my mind and opened my mouth, ready to say anything to break the looming silence that was hovering between us.

I was interrupted by a male voice. My first thought was that it was James and my stomach gave a strange little shiver; then I saw the tall, slightly round faced boy that I knew as Frank Longbottom. He said, "Morning again, Miss Alice."

I stopped what I was saying, honoring the best friend code anyways—even if things were a little tense between Alice and me right now, I didn't want to do anything to make things even more unpleasant. Instead, I closed my mouth and stepped back a little ways, allowing her and Frank to have some private conversation. What I saw him do next almost made me fall over from shock.

I was already slightly off balance because of my lack of sleep. I had yawned precisely six times on the walk to Professor Slughorn's class. I slowed down, walking by myself now, and feeling even more alone than before in the crowded hallway. That's when I noticed his hand slip over hers. She turned her face toward him, her cheeks a bright pink color and then she shyly interlaced her fingers with his.

My eyes widened and I inhaled sharply. Is that what she had been doing outside the common room? Had she met Frank? I felt a soaring happiness for her, glad that she had gotten her wish to be with him. Almost immediately afterward however, my mood dropped. Why hadn't she told me? I felt a deadened sense of glee for her, hampered by my feeling of sadness. I was supposed to be her best friend…

Frank and Alice walked into class together, Alice turning to look at me helplessly for a split-second. I offered her what I hoped look like an encouraging smile and then trudged after them, turning scenarios between us over and over in my mind to see how I had upset her.

"Good morning, Lily," Professor Slughorn said, beaming down at me as I plodded past him.

"Morning, Professor," I said quietly, looking for an available table.

"Down in the dumps today?" he asked, frowning slightly.

I shrugged. "Yeah, somewhat, I suppose."

He grimaced. "Well, chin up there, and take a seat with a partner. We'll be brewing Optomorphus today."

"Oh, that's delightful."

In was in fact anything but delightful. My melancholy demeanor wasn't the mood to make a happiness potion. And to add to my misfortune, there were only two seats left. One next to James and one next to Sirius; the latter was glaring down at the floor. I sighed, casting a wistful glance at Alice who was watching me. We both looked away, and James caught my eye.

"Lily!" he shouted, waving a hand.

"Hi," I said wearily.

"Come on," he urged, gesturing to the seat next to him.

I took a deep breath and began to walk over to him, ready to chew him out for keeping me up so late last night, when a blonde blur raced towards him and slid into the seat reserved for me. James stared at the girl, who I recognized as Marlene McKinnon, in surprise as she batted her eyelashes at him.

"Er, sorry Mary—"

"It's Marlene," she said, smiling widely at him.

"Yeah, sorry—"

"No, its okay, you were close enough," she giggled.

I let out what some might classify as I guttural growl. This was not turning out to be my day.

"I was saving that seat for Lily," he protested, his brow creasing.

"Oh, but she's going to sit with someone else!"

He whipped his head toward me, and saw that I was indeed going to sit with Sirius. He opened his mouth to complain but right at that moment, Professor Slughorn stepped to the front of the class.

"Now," he said, clapping his pudgy hands together. "Who can explain to me what Optomorphus is?"

I raised my hand and Professor Slughorn grinned widely. "Lily?"

"Optomorphus is a potion purely for happiness. You inhale it and it brightens your day. If you drink it, it makes you delirious. Your parents could die and you'd still be grinning," I told him, trying to keep the frown from staying on my face.

He nodded, watching me intently. "Good thing we're brewing it," he said demurely. "Looks like you could use some."

I forced a grin. "No sir, I'm just tired." I shot a look at James who winked at me. Alice was watching me with her mouth slightly open, probably putting together the pieces in her mind.

"Well," Slughorn said, rubbing his overlarge belly. "Let's get to brewing. If you would please place your essays upon my desk, I'll get to grading them."

The class murmured their assent as he heaved himself into his chair and I turned to see Sirius gaping at me. "You'll never get a girl like that, Black," I teased, closing his mouth for him. "Why're you so surprised?"

"Why aren't you sitting with James?" he demanded angrily.

I rolled my eyes. "Sheesh, Marlene stole my spot."

"No," he began angrily. "Marlene stole _my _spot! He made me move and now you're not even sitting with him!"

"That's not my fault," I said, rolling my eyes. Just because Sirius didn't sit with his best mate he had to throw a tantrum.

"Yeah, it is Lily pad," Sirius scoffed. "You're the one that Jamesie's in love with."

I closed my eyes. "My name is Lily, not Lily pad," I growled at him.

He laughed, visibly perking up at the thought of annoying me. "Whatever you say…Lily pad."

"Stop it!"

He snorted and nudged me, gesturing over to where Marlene was fawning over James. "Bet you wish you hadn't come and sat with me, now…look at her, stealing your man right in front of your nose."

"Black!" I threw my scroll at his head and he caught it, chuckling.

"Here, let me be a good little boy and take your homework up to Ol' Sluggy."

"Yeah right, good little boy," I muttered under my breath, angrily flipping the pages to my Potions book.

A piece of parchment landed on my desk and I looked up in surprise, sweeping my eyes over the classroom to see who had thrown it. Nobody looked guilty. I looked down again and saw that it was a note scrawled in Alice's handwriting.

_So, you can probably guess, huh?_

"Guess what?" Sirius asked from behind me.

I jabbed my elbow into his stomach and he grunted, falling down into the seat next to mine. "Git," I mumbled as I hurriedly wrote back an answer.

_If you mean guessing about you and Frank, then yes…when did it happen?_

With a quick glance at Professor Slughorn to ensure that he was reading over our assignments, I whispered, "_Wingardium Leviosa," _and floated the note back to Alice.

She caught it and read over it, biting her lip nervously.

"How do we make Optomorsuck?" Sirius asked uninterestedly, leaning back in his chair.

"You mean Optomor_phus_?" I corrected him, looking over the ingredients carefully.

"No, I said what I meant, Lily pad," he smirked.

I scowled at him. "Oh wow, Black, you're so funny, my sides hurt from laughing so hard."

He laughed. "Yes, I do have that effect on some people."

"Sure you do; on people like Marlene. How abo—Ow!" The parchment had poked its sharp corner against my temple when I had failed to see it. I snatched it from the air irritably and opened it.

_Yesterday while you were in the library._

"Wait, Alice and _Frank_?" Sirius gasped, his head peering over my shoulder.

"Hey—will you—quit it! Go get our ingredients!"

I sent a sulking Sirius over to the cabinet and as he began loading his arms full of items, I penned a reply and sent it back.

_That's great! I'm so happy for you two__!_

A booming laugh from my professor rang throughout the class and I paused in my act of heating the cauldron.

"James, my boy! Your report isn't eerily similar to Remus' today! Congratulations!"

James grinned at him and said, "Yes well, I had a smart, beautiful, and perfect tutor, so it's natural that my work would improve."

Remus frowned, pretending to be offended and I smothered a giggle with my hand. A loud crash from the supply cupboard made me jump and I turned to see what Sirius had done now. He was hurriedly putting a scale back on its shelf, and then turned and came rushing to me. "You tutored James?" he hissed, shocked.

I picked a Houtish root from the mound of things in his arms and began cutting it up slowly. "I didn't say that."

He gasped. "You did! Tell me, did he snog you?"

"You have no class," I snapped grumpily. "I just helped him with his dissertation because I borrowed Remus' paper and he said I had to."

"Two things," Sirius said, sitting down and letting everything spill out of his grip and onto the table in an unorganized mess. "One, I didn't ask about dessert, I asked if you helped him with his essay. And Two, you didn't answer my question about snogging either. I feel compelled to point out that you're not acting very Lily-like."

"Yes I am!" I protested, yanking a beaker away from him.

"Er, hello? Passing notes in class and not answering my questions? And using excessive force to cut up a Teryrat Pustule? You should be careful—"

"You should be careful, Black," I snarled.

"Oh, now you're threatening me? Wow—hey, calm down! I heard they can—_explode_…!"

As he said his last word, the pustule sent a large stream of purple goo straight at his face. He screamed loudly, getting the attention of everyone in class.

Sirius wiped the slime off of his face with disgust, glowering at me. "This is what happens when you don't listen to me," he groaned as his features began to redden and swell. "I feel like a Quaffle," he mumbled miserably, pressing his fingers against his cheeks. "Professor? I think I'm having an allergic reaction!"

James let out a roar of laughter as he caught sight of Sirius and Professor Slughorn sighed, bustling over to deflate his head—which could very well be used in the next Quidditch game if needed.

I stirred the cauldron gleefully, inhaling the rich scent of the potion and listening to Sirius' angry lecture with only half-a-mind.

"Lils?"

I spun around at the sound of Alice's voice and smiled. "Hi," I said shyly. "Er…what's new?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about James," she said, fidgeting slightly as we walked into the courtyard. The blast of cool air that blew at us seemed to carry away our tenseness with it. Alice began babbling and I relaxed a bit, listening to her with gratefulness. "I mean—if you want that is. You don't have to, I'm just curious. I was going to ask you in Potions, but it looked like tomato-face was being nosy."

I let out a laugh at Alice's description of Sirius.

"Yeah, he was. And annoying, too! He kept calling me Lily pad. I think we should start calling him Quaffle-head."

Alice blinked once and then burst out into giggles at my rendition of him.

"I think that's perfect," she grinned. Alice stopped walking and set her bag on the ground, sitting on top of a stone bench. She gestured to the spot next to her and I sat down, unsure of what to tell her. Much to my relief, she seemed to understand, in the way that best friends do, that I didn't know exactly how to describe James, so she began to inform me about herself.

"After we finished dinner and I went to the common room, I was sitting on the couch—"

A loud yell sounded from across the courtyard, and I averted my attention to it; it was James and Sirius lounging on the grass. I let a small smile pull at my lips before looking back at Alice and paying close attention to 'The Frank Fiasco' as she so deemed it.

"…through my Potions' book when all of a sudden he shows up, sitting there next to me all casual like. So of course, I got startled a bit and—"

"How much is a bit, Alice?" I asked, struggling to keep the humor out of the situation. Alice wasn't known for her bravery. That's why everyone was surprised with her decision to try and become an Auror.

She plucked at her skirt nervously. "I kind of screamed and threw my book at him…and then practically the whole common room started laughing at me!"

I placed my fingers over my mouth, maintaining the serious face with difficulty. "Well…they had no right to do that."

"_Thank_ you! I tried to tell them that but they just don't understand."

"They don't get true love, I suppose." I sighed dramatically. "I mean, throwing a book at someone? That's a tell-tale sign. Just wait until you two get marri—"

"Look who's talking!" she squealed. "I always knew it!"

"Knew what?" I asked, abandoning my solemn pretense.

"'Throwing a book at someone is a tell-tale sign of true love'" she said, in a terrible imitation of me. "I seem to remember a little someone chucking a book at a little someone else…"

I paled as we both looked over at James. "I—I didn't mean it like that; obviously—er…It's the Alice way of showing love. Not the—Not the Lily way."

She gave me a pitiful smile and continued on with her story; much to my relief. "Anyway, he sorta smiled at me all sweet like, and then he handed the book back and said, 'You knocked some sense into me!'"

"You're ghastly at impressions," I snorted.

She waved off my poke cheerily and continued on with her story. "So I said, 'What kind of sense?' And then he just asked me out, plain as day, just like that!"

I smiled and risked a glance at James. "That's great, Alice!" I exclaimed happily.

Quaffle-head thrust his shoulder into his friend's side and James looked up at me, catching my eye before I looked away.

Alice gave an impatient grunt and jumped up, pacing in front of me agitatedly. "Okay, _what_ is going on between you two?" she demanded. "You can't keep your eyes off of him, and were you tutoring him last night? And does tutoring really mean snogging? I'm dying here, Lily! I don't know anything anymore!"

I sighed resignedly and motioned for her to sit down, knowing I was defeated. She sat down, looking at me intently and I breathed in a lungful of the calming air. "Yes, I did tutor him but no, I didn't snog him. That's what I was doing all afternoon. He found me in the library and Remus had told me that I had to help James instead of him this time. That's it."

"So…did you snog him when you met him in the common room?"

"How did you know I met him in the common room?" I asked uncomfortably, wishing for more gusts of wind.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Lily. Who else would it be?"

"I dunno. But, no, we didn't snog then, either. Enough about me though. Tell me, how does Frank kiss?"

Her face changed from curious to impassive in a split second. I cringed. "Sorry—you don't have to tell me—er, back to me and James then?

She shook her head furiously and I was surprised to see that her eyes had glossed over with unshed tears.

"Alice, what's happened?" I asked concernedly, holding out my arms for a hug. She accepted and exhaled shakily.

"It's…I've just…I've done something terrible Lily."

I bit my cheek, bracing myself for her confession. "What?" I whispered.

"Last night…when you saw me, I wasn't snogging Frank." I didn't speak. "I was snogging Sirius."

I closed my eyes. "Alice…"

"I know!" she said loudly, slapping a hand to her forehead. "And I feel awful about it. It's just…on the night you and James talked, Sirius and I got to talking and somehow we started snogging and it was so great, Lily. It was everything that I had been missing from fifth year."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, my eyes wide.

She shrugged miserably. "I thought you wouldn't approve. And every night after that we'd meet in the common room or sometimes he'd take me down to a secret passage. And then last night, I told him that I had a boyfriend and somehow we still ended up…I don't even know what happened. I absolutely regret it though. I wish I could go back in time and tell him we couldn't see each other anymore and then just walk away. It was his eyes…his eyes they just got me, and I couldn't…"

I chewed on my lip as she huffed in exasperation and angrily wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She was already beating herself up about it enough; I didn't need to express my disapproval. Instead I smiled and said, "Alice, it was a moment of weakness. It would've happened to anyone."

"Not to you," she pouted.

"No," I agreed. "But…but if James had been the one looking at me with his eyes, then I would've been helpless, just like you."

Her wet eyes enlarged a thousand fold and her lips started mouthing words silently. Eventually she swallowed them all and murmured, "He _is_ looking at you."

I twitched and forced myself to keep my eyes on Alice. "Oh…well…that…I think Sirius knows you're dating Frank."

"Lily, that was a pathetic attempt at a subject change…but I _am_ curious. How?"

"He read the note over my shoulder," I told her. Something clicked in my mind. "And that's probably why he seemed so surprised it was Longbottom! You didn't tell him a name, did you?"

She shook her head. "No. But he would've found out anyways…so back to you. If you weren't snogging James last night, what were you doing? Don't tell me…you and Remus?"

I choked on my own laughter as I let it loose. "No," I said, still giggling loudly. "Er…me and James actually—"

"What?" she asked, almost falling off the bench. "What did you two do? _What?"_

"He took me flying on his broom."

"You snuck out of the castle that late? Wow, you must really like him….Ooh, so that's why you were tired…how romantic was that? I bet that was just the coolest thing—"

"Lily! Alice!" A shrill voice interrupted Alice's go on.

We looked up to see Marlene running toward us excitedly, her long blonde hair trailing behind her.

"Ugh, I despise her," I moaned.

"Why?" Alice asked, mildly astonished. "She's so nice!"

Marlene reached us and began talking a mile a minute. "I've been looking all over for you two! I had to tell someone and you guys are the perfect people…okay…don't laugh at me…but, Sirius Black just picked up my books for me!" She squealed the last part loud enough so that a few crows milling about squawked and took flight.

"Marlene?" Alice asked in a sickly-sweet voice that wasn't hers.

"What?" she replied, her eyes positively shining. "I know it's not much, but he's so_ absolutely gorgeous_ it's a big turning point in my life!"

"You realize he's sitting right over there, don't you?" Alice pointed to where he and James sat, smiling broadly.

Marlene froze. "Are you joking?" she asked, a bright red color flooding her cheeks.

Alice shook her head and Marlene turned slowly, mortification darkening her pretty features.

Sirius winked at her and yelled out, "And such wonderful books they were!"

She gasped and turned to flee, Alice watching her with narrowed eyes and a scowl. "I despise her."

"Ah, I knew you'd understand my hatred for her, although you mustn't forget about Frank."

A familiar skinny boy emerged from behind a pillar and I clamped my mouth shut, resisting the urge to call out his name.

"Lily…?" Alice asked, nudging me. "You didn't answer me."

"Oh sorry," I said, tearing my eyes away from the hook-nosed boy as he stalked across the yard. "What'd you ask?"

"Nothing… You still talk to him?" Alice wondered, noticing who I was looking at.

I shook my head. "No. Not since the day at the tree."

She grimaced. "Well, that serves him right. Calling you a Mudblood...I still think that's despicable."

I nodded, watching in sadness as Severus glared at James. "Yeah, it is. He was my best friend."

"Greasy haired, snot-nosed—"

"He doesn't have greasy hair, Alice," I said, surprised in myself for defending him when he so badly hurt me last year.

"Of course he does!" she insisted, looking at him with disgust. "How else can you describe—"

"It's his natural shine," I muttered, not wishing to hear mean things said about Severus. It'd already hurt me enough through the years to see what he was becoming.

"Well…doesn't he hang out with all those soon-to-be-Deatheaters?" Alice asked, determined to find something wrong with him.

I couldn't deny this. Everyone knew it was true. I nodded and quietly said, "Yes. Yes, he does."

Alice didn't answer, and I was glad. Just because he'd ditched me for Dark Slytherins and mortally insulted me didn't mean that I had no care left for him. It should…but it didn't.

Severus had stopped in front of James and Sirius and was now waving his arms as he sneered insults at them. I sighed. They couldn't even see each other in the hallway without getting in a fight. Well…James could…I felt a warming sensation knowing that he had improved. Even now, he was watching Severus with amusement, not hatred. Then Sev had to take it to the next level and pull out his wand. I groaned as Alice gasped. With a wave, James' ears blossomed into large white Lilies. I started. If this was his way of showing me that he was thinking of me, or that he was sorry, he was failing miserably.

Severus stalked away and Sirius was standing up, shouting insults at "Snivelly" and brandishing his wand. Then James pulled him back down to the ground and gestured frantically at his ears. Sirius pointed to Severus who was now disappearing into the direction of the Forbidden Forest. It was clear they were having an argument about whether or not Sirius should go after Severus. I felt reassured in James knowing that he had outgrown hexing Severus even when provoked. Sirius was pouting but nevertheless attempting to help James. With Remus absent however, it was hopeless. The Lilies were now rapidly changing color and Alice and I began to giggle. Sirius got frustrated and sent a stinging hex to the flowers; only to catch James in the face.

Alice snorted and then abruptly stopped saying, "Er, Frank wants me…is it—"

"Go," I said, grinning at her. "I'm glad we talked." The memory of her confession clouded her face and then she pushed it away, smiling back at me.

"So am I."

She trotted away to where Frank was standing and moments later Sirius seemed to give up, striding the opposite way in the direction that Severus had gone. James slumped against the bench he was leaning on and pointed his wand at himself, only succeeding in transforming his nose into a Lily also. I smiled to myself as he yelled out in frustration and stood up to help him.

_a/n: Review!_


	5. Interruptions

**Interruptions**

"Hey Potter," I smirked. "Looks like you could use some help."

He jerked his head towards me, his eyes lighting up and answered, "Yes, I could. And who better to give me help than my smart, beautiful, and perfect tutor?"

I rolled my eyes and knelt down, pointing my wand at him and whispering, "_Calcouliger_".

The flowers severed themselves and dropped down onto James chest, revealing his original features. He jumped up, helping me up with him and murmured, "Thanks, love."

I blushed to the roots of my hair much to my dismay, but James was either too blind or too chivalrous to see it. He _was _in Gryffindor after all…

"These are for you," he said, holding out the flowers.

I rolled my eyes. "No thanks, I don't like—" I stopped as James placed three Orchids in my hand.

"Wow...how'd you know that I didn't like Lilies?" I asked, impressed.

He grinned. "You forgot," he accused. "I remember because in fifth year when I gave you a handful of Lilies you shouted, 'I hate Lilies, toerag, if you knew me at all then you'd know that my favorite flowers are Orchids!'"

I opened my mouth to answer, not knowing what I was going to say. There were two directions I could take this in. One, I could turn this into a sappy, heartfelt talk where I start crying and thank him for never giving up on me and then I fall into his arms and we ride off into the sunset on his broom. Two, I could keep up the playful banter that we so often enjoyed. Before I had made up my mind, a wheezy voice called to James.

We both turned to see Peter jogging toward us.

James groaned. "Can you hold on? This should only take a moment."

I nodded and clasped my hands tightly around the flowers, waiting for Peter to reach us.

A sudden roar of, "You idiot!" came from behind a pillar and Sirius launched himself at Peter, tackling him to the ground and rolling around.

"Told you," James smirked, turning back to me gleefully.

"You hired Black as a guard?" I asked in disbelief.

"No, of course not… He volunteered."

I snickered. "Why?"

James shrugged. "Helping out a fellow Marauder, I don't know. Anyways, I wanted some alone time with you and he offered to lend a hand in my endeavor to ask you—"

"Mr. Potter!" A shrill voice yelled. We both jumped and turned to face Professor McGonagall who was fruitlessly trying to pull Sirius off of Peter. "Kindly assist me in separating these two!"

James sighed and effortlessly pulled Sirius away, pinning his arms behind his back.

"Anyways, I wanted to—" he began to call out to me but Professor McGonagall (here on out known as The Interrupter) cut him off.

"Mr. Black!" she seethed, "What is the meaning of this?"

Sirius shrugged and shook James hands away, smoothing out his robes.

"He was helping me out, Professor," James said. "I wanted to ask Lily—"

"Is Lily involved in this fiasco?"

"No!" he said quickly. "No, no. It's just that I wanted to—"

The Interrupter struck again. "Kindly follow me to my office where I will assign you your detentions."

"But—"

"No 'buts', Mr. Potter. Wrestling is prohibited and since you seem to be behind it, you will receive punishment also. Now march!"

I sighed, collapsing onto the ground and smelling the flowers James' had given me while turning scenario after scenario over in my mind. What did he want to ask me?

* * *

Alice beamed, fingering my flowers. "That is just about the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life!" she squealed.

I looked at her incredulously. "His ears sprouting into flowers?"

She nodded vigorously. "And then his flower ears falling off—and oh! Lily, he called you '_love_'!"

"He also wanted to ask me something."

"Oh gosh, what was it?" she asked, bringing her feet up off the ground and kneeling on the couch.

"I don't know."

"Lily!" she warned, her eyes flashing, "Don't do this to me! What was it? I have to know!"

"Believe me, I want to know too. He never got around to asking it."

"And why not?" she demanded, falling back against the arm of the sofa.

"McGonagall," I sighed. "She ruined everything!"

Alice bit her cheek. "I'm sorry…you know, if it's really important, then Potter will ask again."

"But what if he just wants more help on homework?"

"Then give it to him!" she instructed.

"But what if he wanted to ask me to leave him alone?"

"He'd never do that! Now, relax Lily. You just need to breathe. Here, have an Orchid." She slid the stem behind my ear and fluffed out the petals. "You look lovely!" Her face suddenly froze. "So lovely…"

"What is it?" I asked, straightening up. "What happened?"

"Don't freak out, but they're coming down the steps," she whispered.

"They're…as in _them_?" I closed my eyes. "Oh no. Oh no…Oh—"

"Hobgoblins!" she squeaked. "James is coming over this way!"

"Afternoon, Prewitt," James said, smiling jovially.

She nodded her head, pressing her lips together tightly as James noticed his flower behind my ear. "That's a nice touch, Lily," he said, plopping down between Alice and me.

"Oh…er—I…"

"So, about earlier," he said, disregarding my stutters. "I kept trying to ask you something, remember?"

I nodded, as Alice almost fell off the couch. "Yeah…did you want more tutoring?" I teased. "Heaven knows you need it."

He rolled his eyes at me, trying and failing to hide a smile. "Nice. But no, that's not what I wanted."

My eyes widened and I swallowed deeply. "Okay then…Care to share?"

He nodded. "So, I'm conducting Quidditch practice because we have a big game against Slytherin tomorrow and all of a sudden I realize that I don't have anyone in the stands cheering me on—"

"Are you joking?" I asked, scoffing. "Half the girls in the school go solely for the excuse to scream your name."

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe, but nobody that's important…"

My next retort caught in my throat as Alice's jaw dropped.

"Would you come to root for me Lily? It would mean alot to me if I knew you were in the crowd."

I bit my lip. Alice was nodding her head frantically up and down from behind him. I let out a slow breath. "Yeah…yeah, that sounds fun."

He beamed. "Great! See you tomorrow!"

I nodded numbly as he strutted away to join his friends. Alice pounced on me as soon as he was out of earshot.

"That was so sweet! You're the only girl that matters to him!" she shook me by the shoulders. "I can't believe this just happened! This is like a date!"

"Alice, be quiet!" I hissed, nervously glancing around.

She didn't heed my request. "Come on, we're going to pick out an outfit for your date with James!"

"It's not a date," I tried to say soothingly.

She laughed and dragged me up the stairs toward our dormitories, talking a mile a minute all the way.

* * *

"Alice, this is a terrible idea. I'm not going."

"Nonsense!" she trilled, casting a charm on my normally straight hair to make it fall in waves.

"He's going to think that I'm actually excited about this!" I griped.

"Well aren't you?" Alice asked, stopping her actions for a moment to look at me concernedly.

"…Yeah. But he doesn't need to know that!"

"Lily Evans, why is it so important for James not to know that you love him?" She ignored my cry of protest and continued. "It's better for everybody all around. I remember in fifth year, I was scared to tell Sirius that I fancied him. I went the whole year admiring him from afar. And then one day, he came up and told me to court him!"

"I know, Alice. I was there."

"And none of that would have happened if I was too scared to admit that I liked him when he came clean. And James has been coming clean for the past four years!"

"Three and a half," I corrected her, pulling on my flats.

She sucked on her cheek, biting back a smile. "This is exactly why you need to pluck up your courage and tell him, 'Oh, Jamesie, my love, let's get married, my love!'"

I ignored her idea and muttered, "I'm not scared."

"Then what are you?"

I mumbled an incomprehensible answer and she sighed, pulling me by my arm to my feet. "Let's go then. We have to get to the Quidditch pitch."

"Already?" I asked, straightening my shirt as she pulled me down the stairs and out of the Common Room.

She nodded. "Don't you want good seats?"

"Well, I guess…yes…you know—"

Alice cleared her throat. "Now, I've asked Zachary McLaggen and he's said that you can meet James in the changing rooms after the game and if you're too frightened to go inside, then you just wait outside and congratulate him."

"Okay, thanks for the information. One question…who is Zachary?"

Alice sighed, exasperated by my scarce knowledge. "Zachary! He's the Keeper on the team!"

"Oh…you know him?"

"No, I just asked him about the changing room policy. I figured you wouldn't want to go inside though, considering you're Lily."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, unsure whether it was an insult or compliment.

"Nothing, just that—Oh! That's Frank…can I go ahead and then save you your seat?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's fine. See you in a moment."

She ran ahead to meet her boyfriend and left me to walk alone. I didn't mind it much; I enjoyed having time to work everything out. Like this 'Quidditch Changing Rooms' idea. What was I supposed to do? Did the players' friends usually come and congratulate them? Or were the rooms reserved for that one special person? And if the player's partner did come to say 'good job', what did that make me? Was this a date? And if it was, then what did I do at the end of it? If I didn't go say hello, James might think I didn't enjoy myself. There were so many questions and not enough answers. I needed—

"Remus!"

He grinned at me, waiting for me to climb the stairs a little ways to catch up with him.

"Morning, Lily. How are you?"

"Terrible."

"Oh?" he asked, beginning to climb again. Alice was already in her seat, talking with Frank.

"Yes," I moaned. "Want to sit with me? I have to ask you something." I hoped he didn't have to sit with the Marauders, I really did. Remus was a genius when it came to James, and I needed a genius quick.

"Well, I'm supposed to save a seat for Peter—"

I groaned. "I knew it. That's okay, I'll try to pull Alice away from her little lover and see if she can give me some advice."

Remus smiled. "Why don't I sit next to you and then save a seat for Pete on my other side?"

I paused for a moment, working everything out in my head. "Oh...that...that would be good. Yes, do that, Remus."

He obliged, sitting down next to me and placing his hat on the seat next to him. "Now, what did you need to ask me?"

I swallowed, smoothing down my bangs. "Okay…er…do you usually go and visit James after his Quidditch games?"

Remus shook his head. "No. I usually head back to the castle with the crowd…why?"

I let out a heavy breath I had been holding. "It's just that…well, I was wondering if—"

"If you should go and congratulate him?" Remus asked, grinning at me knowingly.

"Yeah…and I didn't want to go in case it was just couples that visited the changing rooms…but I didn't not want to go in case James thought that I hadn't enjoyed myself or I had just skipped out altogether. And it's all so confusing! I kind of wish we still hated each other." I slumped in my seat, staring aimlessly at the Quidditch hoops out on the field.

"Don't get your wand in a knot," Remus said, patting me on the shoulder. "I can help."

"You can?" I asked, perking up immediately. "Oh, Merlin, thanks!"

"Don't mention it," Remus said waving his hand dismissively. "I do this sort of thing all the time. Your hair looks nice, by the way."

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, that's Alice's fault. Disregarding that, what can you tell me that could help?"

"First, it's not just couples by the changing rooms because Sirius goes to visit him every time, so no worries there…I hope."

I snorted at his half-joking manner and Remus continued, lowering his voice so the rapid-filling stands wouldn't hear. "Second, I think you should go. It will make James' day because he told me himself that he thought he was going to have to hunt for you at dinner and he doesn't expect you to go, so that'll be a nice surprise."

I bit my lip, taking in this information slowly until I had a plan. I would follow Remus' advice and go and say hello, but I'd wait outside to try and transmit a more casual message. I didn't want to be like Marlene, after all.

"Alright—"

"Hey guys, what did I miss?" Peter wheezed, plopping down on Remus' hat.

"Oi! Watch it!"

Peter stood up immediately, cringing. "Sorry! Sorry, Remus! Oh, sorry—"

"Its fine," Remus said, fluffing the flattened hat and fitting it onto his head. "No permanent damage."

Peter sat back down exhaustedly. "The games about to start; I had to run all the way from the castle."

"What were you doing up there?" I asked curiously.

The pudgy boy shrugged. "I was just talking to Macnair."

I furrowed my brow. "Macnair…that name sounds familiar…"

Remus frowned. "He hangs out with the Death Eater crowds…you've been spending an awful lot of time with them, Wormtail."

"Wormtail?" I repeated, mystified. They both ignored me.

Peter shook his head defensively intending to respond, but our conversation (and Alice and Frank's snogging session next to me) was cut off.

"Is it beginning?" I asked, looking around the sky wildly as the stands burst into a collective cheer.

Alice snickered and turned my head towards the ground where the two teams were lined up and shaking hands.

They mounted their brooms and as Madam Hooch blew the whistle, they all rose into the air.

A familiar voice boomed over the stadium. "And they're up, up and away, folks! The Gryffindor versus Slytherin game is underway!"

"Sirius is the announcer?" I deadpanned. "You've got to be kidding me."

"And Potter already has the Quaffle! Look at the way he glides effortlessly through the air; like a frog hopping from _Lily_ pad to _Lily_ pad. "

He scored and the stands erupting into screams, drowning out my roar of, "Black!"

James paused, surveying the stands.

"Why isn't he playing?" I asked, concerned.

Remus nudged me in the side. "He's looking for you."

I paled. "What? He can't…He can't see me from way up there…"

Remus shrugged. "Did you know he almost played Seeker?"

I didn't answer. James' eyes swept over me and doubled back. His face broke into a wide grin and he sped away, going after the Quaffle once more.

He had definitely seen me.

I cleared my throat loudly avoiding Alice's look and applauded along with everyone else as McLaggen saved a goal.

"And the Quaffle is in possession of Jamesie again, he's really on the ball today—oh, watch out for that bludger! Phew, that was a close one! Who beat that? I swear, I'll hex you, Humphrey—"

"Mr. Black!" Professor McGonagall's voice could be heard. "Kindly refrain from personal threats!"

"Sorry," he muttered.

Alice was giggling uncontrollably next to me. I really wanted to clamp a hand over her mouth considering Frank was fidgeting more and more. Was it as obvious to him as it was to me that she still had lingering affections for Sirius? I settled with a poke in the side and a warning look. She quieted down immediately. Sirius was talking again.

"And the Quaffle goes from Potter to Russ…and Potter's stolen it back! Now Russ is chasing him down, and what's this? Potter's thrown the Quaffle to…his own goal? No! No! Prongs, what're you doing?"

The audience gasped in unison as Sirius practically jumped out of the commentator's box. McGonagall was yelling once again for him to settle down and dictate the game, but he was barely paying her heed this time. I found my myself slightly distracted by yet another strange nickname in the Marauder's clan.

The whole Gryffindor side of the stands was on their feet, watching in disbelief as the Quaffle sailed toward its goal. The Slytherins were laughing and jeering.

"This is unbelievable," Sirius was muttering. Suddenly Zachary caught it and Sirius was screaming into again. "McLaggen's saved it! And—he _DROPPED IT_! McLaggen's dropped the—and _what? _Beltran has caught it and is flying and—go, go, _go_! Now he's throwing it to the other side of the stadium! Look at that ball go! Who knew that Beltran had such strong arms? And Potter's already there! Wow, look at that amazingly orchestrated maneuver! I thought they were going mental. And _YES_! It's another goal! That's thirty-nil, in favor of Gryffindor!"

The crowd went up in a deafening cheer as James almost fell off his broom laughing at Sirius' reaction.

"That was clever," I commented to Remus.

"Yeah, get ready to be surprised. James is much cleverer than you'd expect when he's playing."

"Guess that's why he's Captain," I said.

"You bet that's why I'm Captain," he said.

I gasped and whipped to face him. He was hovering right in front of me, grinning broadly. "Having fun yet?" he asked, brushing his windblown hair out of his face.

"Er…yeah," I said, laughing slightly. "Shouldn't you be scoring more points?"

He shrugged, "My team can hold its own for the moment."

Sirius' voice became indignant.

"—and who is Potter talking to? Oi, Potter! There's a game going on! There's no excuse for you to be talking to an audience member unless its—oh…_oh._ Once again James Potter is a frog hopping from Lily pad to Lily pad, and I mean this literally folks—"

"Mr. Black!"

"Yes, Professor?"

"Do I need to commentate the game?"

He sighed heavily. "And James is back in the game, giving me rude gestures—did you _see _that, Minnie?"

"_Mr. Black_—"

"Oh, _come on _McLaggen, now the score is thirty-ten, Gryffindor still in the lead. And Tryder has beaten a bludger at Humphrey; he deserved it. Potter's swerving in and out; he's like a streak of lightning and _nice_! The score is forty-ten, sorry for snapping at you, McLaggy. Ooh and Tryder is _down_, hit by a well-aimed bludger from the Slytherin team."

Gryffindor and Slytherin began to battle for the win. Slytherin got ahead of them for a moment, eliciting several swears from Sirius and a suspension from the commentary which lasted for ten minutes when McGonagall realized that the game was too fast paced for her liking.

"And the score is fifty-fifty—oh my God! _YEAH_! Corey's going for the snitch! Gryffindor has won!"

Alice jumped up on her chair screaming wildly, and James winked at me before landing.

After several minutes of ecstatic confusion and pats on the backs, the stands began to empty out. I wandered down, my nerves becoming more frayed with each step. "Good luck, Lily," Remus muttered before sweeping off with the crowd back to the castle.

I took a deep breath and walked down the small path leading to the Changing rooms.

As soon as I approached and leaned against a tree, he exited with Black and without his shirt. My jaw immediately fell open, and I raked my eyes over his toned torso. Because I mean, it's James Potter.

Sirius strutted past me, closing my mouth for me. "You'll never get dates like that, Evans," he muttered, quoting me from the day in Potions.

I forced a laugh. "Oh, you're so funny, _Quaffle-head_."

He stuck his tongue out and walked away, leaving me alone with James.

I swallowed hard and forced myself to look into his eyes, which was admittedly a bad, _bad _idea.

I immediately felt dizzy and then yelled at myself for acting like a love-struck giggly girl; I failed to hear James' question.

"Er…sorry, what was that?"

He grinned. "Did you like the match?"

"Oh," I nodded. "You did really well."

"Aw, thanks Lily!" He held out an elbow. "Fancy an escort back to the common room?"

I smiled shyly, linking my arm with his. "Sure."

_a/n: review! please? _


	6. The Darker Side of Black

**The Darker Side of Black**

"Hey, Rem, can you pass me that sandwich?"

Remus nodded, handing over the food. James stole it from out of his hand and broke off a piece.

"Open wide, Lily," he teased, waving the sandwich bit in front of my face.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered. "I'm not being fed by you."

"Why not?" James asked, fighting back a smile. "You know you wan—_OI_!"

"Evans," Sirius murmured urgently, sliding into James' seat.

I blinked at him once, looking back and forth between him and his best friend who he had just pushed to the ground.

"Where's Prewitt?" he asked, his eyes wide with something I could almost identify as concern.

"I'm guessing that she's sitting with Frank," I told him, grimacing as James whaled him.

Sirius ignored the blow and shook his head. "She's not."

"Get out of my seat!" James demanded angrily.

"And why do you think I would do that?" Sirius snapped at him. "I'm obviously here for a reason."

"Ja-James, hold on a moment. Go talk to Remus," I suggested, turning back to Black. James spluttered aimlessly for a moment before stalking to his other friend. Remus seemed pained to be thrust into this ordeal, and I bit my lip, not realizing he would probably be badgered to take sides. "Now, what's wrong Quaffle-head?"

"I need you to find Alice and make sure she's okay," Sirius whispered quickly.

I tucked my hair behind my ears. "Why wouldn't she be okay? Did something happen?"

Sirius heaved a long sigh and shrugged rubbing his temples methodically. "Well, I dunno, that's the thing. I haven't seen her since we snogged last night after the Quidditch game—"

"_Again_? You are aware she's dating Frank Longbottom, right?" I asked curtly, crossing my arms and glaring at him.

"Well, yeah, yeah, I am, but we still did it and afterwards she got really flustered like and ran away and I haven't seen her at all this morning…you're her best friend, right? I mean, you've got to tell me if I did something wrong."

He inhaled a deep breath after his speech and looked at me expectantly.

I scoffed. "Why should I tell you anything?"

"Lily, don't do this," he murmured. "I would tell you if you asked about James."

"You'd take the mickey out of me first," I pointed out.

"I do that to everyone!" he said irately. "The fact is I'd still tell you. Think if it was Remus asking about Alice. You'd tell him!"

I sighed. He was right. Just yesterday I had needed information about James and had gotten it easily. Why should Sirius get the short end of the stick? Well, there was the fact that he was rude, cocky and a cheating scumbag…but…

He lowered his voice even further and asked, "_Please_."

I nodded. "Fine," I muttered, motioning him to come closer. "You want my advice? Stop snogging her. It just causes problems, alright. Aside from that she seems okay. Alice and I both got up and came down to breakfast this morning. She was a little quieter than usual, but nothing too drastically different. As far as I know she went to Charms—"

"She didn't," Sirius interrupted, slapping a hand to his face. "She must have slipped away."

"Slipped away?" I asked incredulously. "Sirius, come off it. How do you figure that anyway? Neither of us has her in our class."

His striking features were quickly becoming drawn with distraught. "I went by the class to say good morning and she wasn't there."

"Let me repeat this, you do know she's dating Frank Longbottom, right?"

His eyes flashed as he glared at me. "Yes, I'm aware she's dating bloody Frank bloody Longbottom! Does that mean I can't be attracted to her? I went by to say hello, and she didn't show up! That's why I was late to Defense against the Dark Arts!"

"Okay, er, okay," I said, placing a hesitant hand on his arm. "Just calm down a bit; if she doesn't show up in History of Magic next period, then I'll start to worry."

He grumbled a response and snatched the lunch roll from my plate before striding out of the hall.

James was back in his seat within the space it takes to bat an eye. "What was that about?" he asked, putting another roll on my plate to replace the one Sirius had taken.

"Nothing," I told him, poking my fork into some mashed potatoes.

"Oh, really?" he asked, mockingly surprised, "because it sure didn't seem like nothing. In fact, it seemed like a big something. So big, that you felt the need to tenderly caress his arm!" he sat there, pouting like a child deprived of his favorite toy until I snorted.

"He was just really worked up, James. There's nothing to get jealous about."

"I'm not jealous!" he protested, angrily stabbing his sausage.

I didn't answer and his mood began slipping further down into surliness until Remus wearily asked him how the quest for the Quidditch cup was coming along. He immediately perked up; talking animatedly and expertly on all aspects of it and Remus slipped me a wink. I grinned at him, impressed and a little amused that James sulked so often Remus had devised a surefire way to bring him out of it.

The food disappeared from our plates, and the benches all scraped back, everyone obediently getting up to move towards their next class, the Marauders excepted.

"Bye Rem!" I called cheerily, waving. "See you later, Peter!"

James cleared his throat loudly, and I turned, asking innocently, "I'm sorry, am I forgetting something?"

He scowled good-naturedly and I tossed him a grin over my shoulder. "See you in class, Potter."

There was a short pause and then he was by my side. "I don't feel like staying behind. How about I walk with you…Evans?"

"Are we reverting back to our surname states?" I asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. New circumstances considered, that wasn't among my list of favorite things to do with James.

He frowned. "Of course not, I was just copying you. I like saying the name Lily too much to quit."

He smiled at me, almost running into a small first-year that was bent to tie his shoe. He side-stepped at the last second, muttering curses under his breath, and I suppressed a giggle.

As we exited the Great Hall, James nudged me softly with his shoulder."Who are you sitting with in History of Magic?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Er…Alice probably…" _if she's there..._

"Why don't you sit with me and let Alice sit with Sirius? He fancies her."

I rolled my eyes. "For the love of Merlin's beard, don't you blokes know she's dating Frank?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, but a Marauder's support for another is unconditional."

"Let me guess, rule number twelve?" I teased.

"No," he said solemnly. "Eight. Rule number twelve is: 'When any Marauder sees Mr. Prongs—that's me—with Lily Evans, no Marauder may under any circumstances approach him with said girl unless she is hexing him."

I stopped in the hallway, staring at him blatantly, not knowing whether to believe him or not. After a moment, he exploded into laughter. "I'm just kidding! We don't have rules; the support thing just kind of goes with the friendship."

"Ah," I intoned, falling back into step with him. "I see."

We rounded the corner in silence, and as we approached Professor Binns' classroom, I groaned. Sirius was standing anxiously at the door, looking for Alice.

I sat down next to James, making it clear that if Alice walked through the door, he would be forced to get up or I would curse him. He challenged me, grinning about how great it would be to be cursed by me again, like the good old times. I never got the chance however, because Alice didn't show.

The whole class I waited for her to spring in, chattering about how she fell down the stairs (third year) or got attacked by one of the knights (fourth year) or knocked a painting off the wall and broke her nose (fifth year). By the end of the class, I was as troubled as Sirius. Professor Binns dismissed us, and I hurried up to the common room. I had a free period and was planning on hunting around the grounds for her. That proved to be unnecessary when I entered my dormitory and found her crying in her bed.

"Alice!" I gasped, rushing over to comfort her. "What's happened? Sirius is really worried about you."

She let out a strangled moan and slapped her tears away. "This is _his_ fault! He _should_ be wor-worried!"

"This is about how you kissed him again, isn't it?" I asked, cringing at the look on her face. "He told me at lunch and he said he hadn't seen you and I got angry with him and said you were probably with Frank but he knew—"

"N-No…" she began crying again.

"Alice, take a deep breath," I instructed. "What's got you so bent?"

She inhaled a shuddering gasp and whimpered, "I couldn't take it."

"Couldn't take what?"

"Kissing Sirius after I had already t-told him that I couldn't. He still came though, Lily. And before I knew it, it was really late and he was staring at me with those bloody eyes…and…and I couldn't take it!"

"Well, he told me you ran away. Is that what's wrong? Are you embarrassed?"

"No…I-I told him," she whispered, smothering her face in a pillow.

"Yes, you've already said that," I murmured, gently taking the pillow from her and rubbing her back.

"No, not-not Sirius—" she gave a weak sob.

Several things clicked in my mind. "Wait…Alice…you didn't tell…_Frank_…did you?"

She nodded pitifully, a few more stray tears leaking out of her eyes.

"Oh no," I groaned. "What did he say?"

She swallowed hard before continuing. "He—He forgave me, Lily! I don't deserve someone like him!"

She slumped back over on her bed, shaking with remorse and I pulled her back upright.

"Alice—"

"If he would've told me he was having relations with another girl, I would've dumped him on the spot! H-How can he j-just say it's o-okay?"

"Because Frank is a good guy," I said peacefully. "He probably knows you regret it, and he knows you won't do it again."

"But what if I do?" she whispered, horrified. "What if he distracts me with his eyes again?"

"There's a simple solution to that, Alice. Don't get yourself in a situation where you and Quaffle-head will be alone."

She nodded, smiling slightly at the name and dragged a hand across her nose.

"You're lucky you found someone like James," she huffed.

"Excuse me?" I asked, completely taken aback. "Alice, what has that have to do with _anything_?"

"Lils, you've never even paid any mind to the other boys that like you because you've been too busy with him."

"Not true," I scoffed, pink coloring my cheeks. "Remember Nicholas Thomas?"

"Oh, that doesn't count," she muttered, waving it aside. "That was only for a month."

"Well—"

"Don't try and protest!" Alice admonished me, slowly gaining her personality back. "If only I could be as devoted to Frank as you are to James," she sighed.

"I'm not devoted to him!" I said shrilly.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, you're not devoted to him. Stop complaining. You get to go with a-a Marauder to the Hogsmeade trip next w-weekend!"

She consoled herself with more tears while I was left patting her back and exploring the new path she'd laid for me.

James. Hogsmeade. Me.

Interesting.


	7. Pinky Sparks

_a/n: Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that I appreciate the feedback I'm getting, along with all the favorite stories and story alerts going on. Don't hesitate to click the review button, whether it's to tell me what you think, offer constructive criticism, or just to say that you wish you had hair as awesome as Sirius, :). Enjoy! _

**Pinky Sparks**

"Alice," I muttered. "Shove off. I'm probably not even going to go with him."

She gasped, staring at me in disbelief. "What? Why not…you like him…right? Please tell me you still like him because it took so long for you to realize it and I don't think I can go through that agony again!"

I stifled a giggle at Alice's panic and nodded. "Well, technically, yes, I like him, but he hasn't even mentioned it. He hasn't mentioned asking me out at all..."

"You should ask him then," she told me, grinning feebly at the look upon my face. "What's wrong, Lily? A day at Hogsmeade with James doesn't excite you?"

"Well yeah, but I-never! Never in a million years would I ask James Potter on a date!"

"But why not?" she asked, twirling a lock of her short brown hair innocently.

"First of all, he'd probably say no and second—"

"What?" she shrieked indignantly. "You have got to be _kidding_ me! He would not say no!"

"Think about it Alice, he _knows _that I like him, what's stopping him?"

She groaned, shaking my shoulders. "Maybe he's waiting for the perfect moment. Maybe he wants to make sure that you aren't kidding with him; maybe _you _should give _him_ proof that you like him for once!"

I spluttered incoherently for a flaw in her reasoning, but knock on the door interrupted our debate; I flew across the room to open it, glad for the distraction. Peter was standing there, chewing on his nails. "Hi…" I said slowly, glancing at Alice.

He scratched his scalp and muttered, "I'm supposed to tell you to go down to the common room."

"Why?" I asked, refraining from asking how he got up to our dorm.

"James wants you."

"Ah…" I said. Alice gave a little snicker from the bed and I ignored her. "Thanks Peter. I'll be down in a moment."

He nodded, waiting until I closed the door to leave, and I turned around, cutting off Alice before she even managed to get the question out of her mouth. "No, I'm not going to ask him on a date."

"But he _wants_ you! Then again, we already knew that, didn't we?"

"Alice!" I groaned. "Please!"

She stuck her tongue out at me (yes, Alice often reverts into a child's state of mind when she's frustrated) and I ran a quick brush through my hair before speeding out of the dorm. Because, in all honesty, it was James Potter and who _wouldn't_ risk falling down the stairs and breaking their neck if they got a chance to have a nice chat with him?

He was lounging on the common room couch, staring at the fire pensively and I cleared my throat timidly behind him. He looked at me with a broad smile and motioned for me to sit down next to him.

"So, resorted to sending your devoted followers to get me?" I asked, pursing my lips inquiringly.

He snorted. "Nah, I just didn't feel like bruising my bum when the stairs became a slide and my manliness was forced to slip to the bottom."

"And Peter isn't manly enough to alert the stairs? Tell me…how did he get up there? Unless he is really a she and in that case I don't want to know."

James rubbed the back of his neck and turned toward me, his face solemn. "Lily, there's this really big secret…and…I want to tell you. Will you keep it for me?"

"Do I want to hear it?" I asked cautiously.

He grinned. "Yeah, I think you do. Just…promise me that you won't say anything because we could get in a lot of trouble."

"Alright," I agreed, linking my pinky with his to seal the deal.

I got pinky sparks.

Pinky sparks!

What Gryffindor girl in their right mind feels sparks when James Potter's pinky touches hers?

I ignored my pinky spark ordeal with difficulty and watched him swallow nervously.

"The stairs don't react if a rat climbs them," he said finally. "Because really, what can a rat do, even if it is a boy? It's a rat."

I waited for him to continue, but he just nodded and sat back, leaving me utterly confused.

"James…that's not exactly a secret; it's a widely known fact."

He frowned and motioned me to come closer. I obliged, pushing away the ear sparks that exploded as he whispered. "That's how Peter got up the stairs."

I sat still for a moment, trying to decode his statement. It barely even made sense. "But…what are you saying? Peter's a rat?"

"Yes," he murmured.

"That's not very nice," I said, swatting him in the arm. "He's your friend!"

"What? No, it's true!"

"Even though he looks like one doesn't give you the excuse to call him that!" I chided, rolling my eyes against his lack of tact. Honestly, how did he have friends? And how did he have admirers? And how did it make sense that I was one of those admirers?

"Lily," James sighed, "he's an unregistered Animagus."

Now _that_ was a secret.

I sat completely still for one full minute just repeating his sentence over and over and over.

"He's a…really?" I finally said.

James nodded. "And so are Sirius and me."

My eyes fell out of my head.

Well, not literally, but it was close. I swear on the grave of Merlin that my eyes were never, and probably would never be again, that wide in my entire life.

"What…what are you?" I asked, trying not to show how stunned I really was.

"I'm a stag," he said, quietly but proudly. "So you see why me going up the stairs would have attracted much more attention than a rat."

I nodded. "What about Sirius?"

"Sirius is a dog."

"Figures," I mumbled. "What about Remus? He didn't participate in this?"

James immediately became uncomfortable. "Well…actually…Remus is kind of the cause of it. See…he's kind of an Animagus also…and he's registered…technically."

I nodded, not understanding his sudden fidgety-ness. "What does he transform into?"

"A…wolf."

"Really?" I snorted. "I imagine Remus as more like a bird or a bunny…"

James let out a roar of laughter. "Wait'll I tell him that!"

I smiled at him and didn't speak for a few minutes, coming to terms with this new and highly illegal side of the Marauders. It quickly became that awkward kind of silence; the kind where the air gets thicker and thicker and all you can do is think about how snog-worthy the person sitting next to is. I gulped. There was no way I could randomly throw myself at James and expect him to be okay with it. Even if he has liked me for forever and a day….

"I guess I don't have anything else to say, really…Er…good night."

It was the only time in my entire life that I saw James Potter ill-at-ease.

"Wait!" I blurted out suddenly. He stopped, mid stand-up and turned to look at me.

"Yes?"

"I've been kind of stressed out lately…"

"Yeah?" he asked, looking slightly concerned.

My mind was screaming for me to stop; nothing good could ever come of this. Nothing good ever came of listening to Alice.

Of course, I didn't listen to myself. I never do.

"And I was wondering…you know…maybe you could help me relax again?"

His eyes lit up. Literally, _lit up_. They were brighter than Christmas lights. I cleared my throat uncomfortably and he grinned widely at me.

"Wait here, Lily dear."

I didn't end up dead or in the middle of a disaster. It's got to be a miracle.

* * *

"What did I tell you?" she asked, smirking at me.

"You told me to ask him on a date," I mumbled.

I'm starting to think that telling Alice about my second midnight excursion with James was a mistake. I'm starting to think I should've just kept my mouth shut. I'm starting to think that I'm going to die before Alice stops gloating over being "right". She's been going non-stop all morning.

"And what did you do?" she asked for the hundredth time.

"I asked him to take me riding," I admitted.

"_No_, you asked him on a date!"

"Did not," I protested.

"Did too!"

It's not that I didn't enjoy the ride. I did; it was some of the most fun I've had; even more fun than last time because I knew James was skilled in the area of broom-riding. He didn't even perform any really scary tricks…I held on because I wanted to. And at the end of the night he squeezed my hand while he was saying thanks, and I got pinky sparks. Again.

Pathetic, I know, but he didn't seem to be complaining.

Plus, it felt so _weird_ saying I had a date with James Potter. It was just…not normal. I guess I shouldn't talk about being normal anymore though, because that pipedream is officially gone. Normal is not semi-dating James Potter (which was the best name I could come up with). It is not having pinky sparks twice in one day with a side order of ear sparks. And it is definitely not having your stomach perform acrobatics when you catch sight of him.

I grinned apologetically at Alice as I inched over towards him and she waved me away with her hand. "Go, go! Ask him to…to Slughorn's party!"

"_Alice_!"

"What?"

"That…that's actually not a bad idea…"

"I know! So…" She gave me a rough push forwards and I stumbled slightly before straightening and making my way through the crowd.

Alright, Lily, he's right in front of you. Just do it. Just do it. Just clear your throat and say 'James' nice and sweet and Lily-like. He won't say no. He won't, because James is hopelessly head over heels for you. He told you himself last year! Sirius told you _for_ him this year!

The best I could do was a light tap on the arm.

James turned around, his eyebrows slightly pulled together, but when he saw me, the confusion was instantly replaced with a beam. "Lily! My night-flying buddy! I should warn you, Sirius is peeved about getting replaced."

"Oh, where is Sirius? I need to tell him that Alice is in fact perfectly fine, and not dead or dying, and if he ever tries to snog her again, I'll personally shave his head."

James muffled a laugh and said, "No idea, sorry. I think he might already be in class."

"Wow, Sirius in class on time? Have you suggested Madam Pomfrey?"

"Funnily enough, I did," James laughed, slinging an arm around my shoulder.

Needless to say, I got shoulder sparks. Why was I not aware that there were so many different types of sparks? I desperately needed a bucket of water to stop all this sparking, or I would soon ignite and then I would be the one being held captive by Madam Pomfrey while she screeches about no visitors.

"So, James," I began conversationally. My hands immediately began sweating and I gulped, clasping them together, than smoothing out my shirt, then clasping them again.

"Yes, Ms. Evans?"

"I…I have something to ask you…"

"What is it?"

"Slughorn's party is coming up…and well, I didn't really want to go alone…so, how about it?"

"How about what?" He asked. I groaned. He wasn't going to make this easy on me, was he?

"Will you please accompany me to Slughorn's party so I don't look like a loon when I'm the only girl there without a date?"

"A date?"

"Well…" Oh Merlin, "a partner."

"A partner?"

This was not getting better.

"A…friend…"

"A special friend?"

Just say it Lily. Just say that there will be snogging in most corners and delicious punch! Tell him!

"No. Yes! Er—Bollocks, James, will you come with me or not?"

"When is it?" he asked, pulling me slightly closer to him.

I almost died. Was this a yes? Was I going to show up at a party with James Potter as an escort?

"This Friday," I said eagerly.

"Oh…"

Oh no. That 'Oh' was a bad 'Oh'. I could tell from the way the corners of his mouth drooped down. I could tell by the way he pulled away and dropped his arm. I could tell by the way my stomach plummeted. I was getting rejected.

"I can't go," he said, "I'm really sorry, Lily. I wanted to come."

"Oh, is that so?" I snapped, trying to ignore the irrational tears that were trying to form in my eyes. "Why do I have a hard time believing that?"

"It's true! You know I'd come with you! I just can't! Because of…well…things…"

"Things? Oh, okay, well in that case—what kind of idiot do you think I am?"

Yes, I admit, I got a little emotional. But it wasn't everyday that Lily Evans gets turned down by James Potter. On any normal day, which sod it all I was simply _incapable_ of having, James Potter gets turned down by Lily. And if he felt like this every time, I definitely owed him a hug and some Firewhisky I stole personally from Hogsmeade. I felt that guilty about it all. Because the embarrassment I was feeling simply did not deserve to be felt by anyone else, even James who I currently wanted to hang by his thumbs in the dungeons like Filch always threatened.

So as the tears got more pronounced and my embarrassment morphed into anger and James muttered things like "Remus" and "Sorry" and "I can't", I spun on my heel and walked away.

"Lily? Lily! _Evans_!"

My stomach churned in sadness as he called my last name.

"Lily, _please_!"

I didn't look back.


	8. Out for a Little Walk in the Moonlight

**Out for a Little Walk in the Moonlight**

There's no possible way for me to be okay with this situation. There is absolutely no _bloody_ way for me to accept the fact I had been rejected by James Potter. I didn't even take notes in History of Magic. I sat there, firmly ignoring James' frantic hisses and Professor Binns' lecture, and pretty much everyone else. Alice had to ask me to borrow my ink three times before I heard her. I even disregarded my long and well thought out speech I was supposed to give Sirius and instead cornered him in the hallway, singed the bottom of his hair and spat, "Alice is fine. Stay away." The whole effect was very impressive considering I was still practically reeling from The Incident.

Everything was terrible. I skipped lunch and went up to the dormitories to mope around and eat some of Alice's hidden stores of Chocolate Frogs. My plan was to only eat about two and then replace the rest, hopefully fooling her into thinking that I'd never eaten any and I didn't know where they were (even though I'd found the hiding place weeks ago). My plan, like everything else lately, backfired when she decided to become worried about me and walked in, catching me on my seventh (those things are addicting). The box was still pretty full which goes to show how much of a sweet tooth Alice has.

She rolled her eyes and instead of yelling at me like she would have done any other day, she joined me on my bed and took one herself.

"So, based on the behavior of you and James, I'm guessing he proved to be the prat you always claimed he was and turned you down?"

I nodded, managing to blush an impressive shade of pink at the memory. "I was such an idiot!"

"You were not an idiot," Alice said. "I was an idiot, snogging Sirius. In fact, I was an idiot just fancying Sirius because the whole lot of them are down-right scoundrels."

I nodded; sighing loudly and ripping open my eighth Chocolate Frog.

"I have to ask," Alice said suddenly. "How'd you find the Frogs?"

Somehow this made me giggle and I said, "Under the bed? Not a very original hiding place, Alice."

She laughed along with me and we cut classes for the rest of the day. It was nice. I took back every negative thing I'd ever said or thought about Alice, including that time I called her mad for wanting to swim with the Giant Squid.

Unfortunately, we both developed very severe stomachaches and had to stumble down to Madam Pomfrey's, almost tossing our sweets we had devoured. After that we felt a right sight better and even a little hungry, so we made our way down to the Great Hall for dinner. Of course, James had to be there and I ended up leaving halfway through the meal because he wouldn't stop throwing fries at me to try and catch my attention.

I stormed into the common room, went straight up to the dormitories and fell asleep; cursing whichever teacher had made James' schedule and placed him in my first class of the day tomorrow.

* * *

"Professor Slughorn?" I asked quietly, hoping to Merlin's mother and back that my years of good studentry didn't go unnoticed in this one moment of desperation.

"What is it Lily?" he asked, smiling pleasantly. I took this as a good sign and plunged ahead with my plea.

"I have a slight problem, and I was wondering if you could help me." I held my breath.

"What kind of a problem? Is it Potion related?"

"Not really," I said, my confidence falling a notch. "It's more personal…"

"Well, go on," he urged, abandoning his crystallized pineapple. I took that as a _very_ good sign.

"So, it seems that the only seat left in the classroom is next to James Potter," I stated, knowing full well he had somehow rigged it to be this way. I would've sat with Alice if Frank hadn't chosen today to be an absolute _girl_. When Alice asked him to sit somewhere else he had a fit. A full on, red in the face, arms crossed, tantrum. He even threatened to break the date to Hogsmeade they had planned if she forced him to sit with someone else.

Thanks, Frank.

I really appreciate your team effort.

I couldn't let her sacrifice her relationship with Frank all because of me and my ridiculous problems, so I turned around to find a new seat. By then, everyone was seated and Potter was staring me down, looking like he was going to burst a gasket if I didn't come sit down with him that instant. Well, besides the fact that Potter bursting a gasket sounded quite hilarious to behold, I really just felt like a wimp today. I didn't want to have to deal with the awkwardness of being rejected by my 'long-time lover' and I didn't want to deal with the excuses he would most likely throw at me. So, I did the first logical thing I could think of which was to rummage in my bag quickly, pull out a blank, rolled up sheet of parchment and go and talk to Slughorn.

He surveyed the class quickly and nodded. "It seems that you are correct. Is that a problem?"

"Yes," I said honestly. "I hate to admit it, but I don't feel comfortable sitting with him. Could you maybe…make it so that I can sit with someone else?"

"How would I do that?" he asked. He sounded genuinely curious to my plan that I had thrown together in thirty seconds and I smiled briefly before telling him.

"Well, I'll go and sit down with him, but then you could yell at someone for talking and then tell them to switch seats with me?" I ended it as more of a question, but Professor Slughorn was watching me with interest.

"Will you work better with someone else?"

"Yes sir," I said immediately, allowing hope to fill me up a bit.

"Well…this would be strictly between us, and I'm only going to help you because I don't want to see your grades fall because of this…'conflict' you have with James. So… who would you want to sit with? Alice?"

"No, no," I said quickly. I turned, furtively scanning the room until I saw a friendly face conking Sirius with a Potions book. "Remus. Remus would be good."

He nodded slowly. "Well then, only for today."

"Yes sir," I said, nodding. "Thank you, sir."

He chuckled slightly, popping another chunk of pineapple into his mouth and I turned, stuffing my parchment back into my bag. My cover story would be a question on homework if anyone asked.

I sat down next to James, staring at the desk and avoiding eye and bodily contact. The last thing I needed was arm sparks.

"Lily?"

I nodded slightly, not looking at him.

"I really am sorry," James murmured.

I didn't answer, but felt the familiar stirrings of anger inside me.

What a bloody liar. He wouldn't have to be sorry if he hadn't embarrassed the daylights out of me and just come to Slughorn's party.

Professor Slughorn lumbered up to the front of the class, interrupting the one-sided conversation, bless him.

"Today, we'll be looking to brew The Draught of Living Death—Black, stop talking!"

Sirius snorted and muttered, "Yes, sir," before leaning back in his chair. I felt a course of affection for the professor and promised myself that the next trip to Hogsmeade would bring purchases of crystallized pineapple and oak-matured mead for him.

"Now, this is an especially complicated potion. You might remember last year, we did the same thing and only a select few came close to completing it. We'll try it again today—Black!"

Sirius sighed and sat forward in his desk, winking at a giggling Ravenclaw across the room.

"So, you'll find the instructions on the board and ingredients in the cabinet. Please get started and Mr. Black, kindly switch seats with Ms. Evans. Maybe this way you will stop eyeing Ms. Wench."

I looked down at my lap and began silently gathering my things while Black spluttered senselessly and James balled his hands into fists. "Padfoot, I'm going to kill you," he snarled when Sirius approached the desk.

I fled the vicinity of them and collapsed into the seat next to Remus, exhaling loudly.

"What _happened _between you two?" he asked, wide-eyed. "When James got in the other night at midnight, I thought for sure that he was going to either explode or snog you senseless in the hallway the next morning."

I snorted. "Yeah, Rem, that's exactly how it went."

"Are you alright?" he asked cautiously, beginning to heat the cauldron.

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

He raised an eyebrow and left to gather ingredients while I read the instructions carefully.

As soon as he came to sit back down I blurted out, "Okay, I'm not fine. How come nobody thought to tell me that he was leading me on?"

"James isn't leading you on!" Remus exclaimed almost dropping the knife he was holding. "He really, _really_ likes you, Lily."

"Once again, I find it hard to believe anything a Marauder says," I muttered dryly.

"I'm not a Marauder right now, I'm just Remus Lupin. And last night, James was miserable. He didn't take part in our hexing of Jake Conolly, he barely spoke a word all night, and when we came back he took out his frustration by throwing an ink bottle at Sirius. He is most definitely not leading you on."

"Isn't Jake Conolly a fifth year?" I asked, making it plain I disapproved of hexing a younger year.

"He spit on Sirius after Sirius stole his girlfriend."

"Sirius stole a fifth year's girlfriend?" I snickered in spite of my current situation. "How low could you get?"

"The girl was in sixth year," Remus said hurriedly. "Now, stop changing the subject. James _does_ like you, Lily."

"Well then how come he made up some excuse to not go to the stupid party with me?"

Here it was, the moment of truth.

"Party?" Remus asked, his nose scrunching slightly.

"Yeah, Slughorn's tomorrow," I told him. "James didn't mention I asked him? What, is he embarrassed of me now?"

"Wait," Remus said, an amused smile crossing his face. "_You _asked _James_ out on a date?"

"Rem, that's not the point!" I groaned.

"Sorry," he said, looking tickled. "I just…this is life-changing."

"Yeah, I was finally proven right that James is a liar," I said sourly, dumping my plate of sprouts into the cauldron with more force than was necessary.

"He's not a liar!" Remus said indignantly. "Why'd he say no?"

"Well, I don't know, do I?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "He was muttering and getting all nervous—he mentioned you."

"Me?" Remus' eyes widened and I saw comprehension dawn. "And it's tomorrow…oh…_oh_."

"What?" I asked, freezing in the act of juicing the Snarglapuff Pod.

"Er…nothing." He said, his face becoming vacant.

Remus didn't say another word all class period.

I'm really beginning to hate Marauders.

* * *

Sometimes I get the feeling to do something rash. Sometimes I get the urge to do something bold. Sometimes (not often) I obey.

Hence the reason I was wandering around the corridors at ten thirty.

Alice was well asleep; she had dragged herself into the dormitories, complained about the 'Frank Fit', and was snoring within ten minutes. I had tossed and turned; I even tried to hold a conversation with Marlene:

"_Hey Marlene, how've you been?"_

"_Er…okay…I've been too embarrassed to talk to Sirius since he heard me talking about him…"_

"_Oh, that's too bad, I bet he'd snog you."_

"_What?"_

"_Yeah, Sirius loves attention. He's like a little puppy dog (insert chuckle at my own joke here)."_

"_You think so?"_

"_Yeah, I pretty much know so."_

"_Wow, you're officially my best friend!" _

"_Yeah…"_

"_Night, Lils."_

A talk involving Sirius when I just wanted to forget about the Marauders is not what I had in mind. And who does she think she is, calling me Lils? That name is reserved for Alice to use, and Alice to use only!

I sighed, searching the halls for something to do when my eyes fell upon a very handsome man looking at me. I almost screamed, I almost woke up the whole school, but then I realized there was a frame surrounding him. He was merely a portrait.

"What?" I asked it, slightly annoyed.

Well. This ought to be fun. Let's see how long Lily can last before she checks herself in to St. Mungo's! First she'll have a conversation with Marlene out of bored-ness. Second, she'll talk to a picture out of sheer desperation.

The guy shrugged. "I dunno; you just seem mad."

I rolled my eyes. "Shouldn't you get your sleep?"

"Not when there's a damsel in distress," he said, puffing out his chest. "And don't try to deny it, love. I've been painted for almost a century; I know a sad ickle girl when I see one."

"I'm not an 'ickle girl'," I said, mildly offended. "Who are you anyways?"

"My name is Prince Radcliffe," he said, smiling. "And I'm here to help you."

"Help me with what?" I asked, stepping closer.

"Whatever you need…now tell me, what's on your mind?"

Somehow I ended up telling him the whole story. I went on and on about how I wasted six years of my life hating this guy and now it's too late. He nodded and sighed at the right moments and I concluded I should talk to paintings more often, they were really good listeners. And no one was even around to witness my delusion!

"Er…Lily?"

I spoke too soon.

I spun around, ready to break down crying at a teacher's feet to avoid expulsion, but it wasn't a teacher. In fact, this person was so far from the position of a teacher that my mouth dropped to the floor.

"Severus?" I whispered.

He gave me a sideways smile and took a step out of the shadow more. "Who're you talking to?"

I cleared my throat and jabbed a thumb back at the picture.

"I'm talking to er, Prince Radcliffe…er…how long have you been standing there?"

He didn't answer my question; Severus never really ever did unless they were important, my-life-depends-on-you-answering-this-question type.

"You fancy Potter now?"

I shrugged pathetically, biting my lip. "I don't know how it happened; it kind of just hit me one night."

Severus' face was twisted with disgust at the thought of me liking his mortal enemy and I apologized quickly for no reason.

"I know what you mean, Lily."

"You've fallen for Potter?" I asked, snorting.

He mimed retching and then shook his head. "No…I was trying to be supportive. I guess that didn't work out."

I smiled. "It's the thought that counts, Sev."

He smiled at the old nickname and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'm sure he'll come around. Potter always does when it involves you."

"Yeah, but this time I'm the one who's mad at him and you know I rarely ever come around." I sighed, wishing I could be more forgiving, more forgetful, pretty much more anything.

Severus reached out a hand and patted me on the shoulder lightly. "Lily, you've got to stop with this pride thing. It only makes you unhappy."

"Does it really?" I asked miserably.

He bit back a smile. "Radcliffe here could tell, couldn't he?'

"Oh God, Sev, what's happening to me? A portrait is giving me therapy because I'm so mopey!"

An indignant call of, "Hey!" came from the prince but we ignored him.

"I call them as I see them," Severus shrugged, averting his dark eyes from mine. "Potter will find a way to get you back. A guy that desperate isn't about to let go of the best thing that's happened to him."

"How do you know I'm the best thing that's happened to him?" I asked, feeling choked up for some odd reason.

"You're the best thing that's happened to a lot of people," Severus said softly. "Trust me."

"I do," I whispered, my nose burning.

This whole crying thing was really getting ridiculous. I had gotten the urge to cry so many times during the past two days, I was getting annoyed with myself and my overactive tear ducts. I mean, give me a wand and I'd Avada Kedavra them in a heartbeat if I could get away with it.

"Maybe I'll see you around, Lily," Severus muttered, turning around and breaking the moment as quickly as it had bloomed. "Bye."

And with that he was gone, melting into the darkness. "Bye, Sev," I murmured to nothing in particular. Then with a mighty sniff, I waltzed back to the common room feeling slightly uplifted. Who knew that all it took to regain my sanity was a late night talk with an old friend?

"_Rictumsempra_," I told the fat lady, smiling slightly when she grumbled about being woken up.

That's when I heard the voices. They hit me like a blast of cold air as soon as I was inside the common room. They were loud, raised, infuriated, and floating down from the boy's dormitories. I froze, listening hard.

"There is _no way_ I'm taking her!" A voice I recognized immediately as James' snarled.

Ouch.

"But why not? Lily's been a wonderful friend!" At least Remus still loved me after that terribly tense silence in Potions.

"Guys—"

"Shut-up, Padfoot!" They yelled at the same time.

Okay, so Sirius was actually trying to resolve this spat?

"No matter what you say, I'm not going to take her. I love her too much for that."

What the hell, James.

"You don't know what love is!" Remus retorted.

"Whoa, Moony, let's not get personal," Sirius said in a strained voice.

"I don't know what love is? I don't know what love is? _I don't kn_—"

"I think we understand," Sirius interrupted.

James continued to talk in a voice that was as close to a growl I'd ever heard. I'd really hate to be Sirius right now; I'd really, really hate to be Remus. Even the sound of James was giving me chills.

"I broke about sixteen decrees about under-aged magic, and Ministry protocols, and Animagus laws, just so you wouldn't have to go through it alone! I said _no_ to the girl I've wanted to say yes to for the better part of five years! I watched her _walk away from me_ and still I said nothing, because I wanted to protect you! I practically adopted Sirius from his family! I put myself in danger every month, trying to make it easier for you, and there is no way I'm bringing Lily just to watch her get killed by you in front of my eyes!"

I was visibly shaking now.

James shouting out his obviously deep feelings for me? Remus killing me? I seriously doubted that they were talking about Slughorn's party.

"I wouldn't do that to her!" Remus roared, bursting into the common room with his back to me.

James came tearing after him, wand raised, shaking with fury. "You can't control yourself!"

Sirius came barreling after him, talking frantically and waving his arms, trying to get everyone to calm down. He's the one that saw me first.

"Whoa…Evans…"

James and Remus whipped their heads towards me, as I stood shocked near the portrait hole. And with as much courage as I possessed, I cleared my throat and said, "I want to know what's going on."

_a/n: Sorry this chapter took a little longer to update than normal, :(, but please, tell me what you think!_


	9. The Truth about Remus

**The Truth about Remus**

_"I want to know what's going on."_

Nobody spoke except for Remus. "...alright."

James twitched, but managed to refrain from murdering Remus which is what it looked like he severely wanted to do.

I sat on the couch expectantly while James and Remus sat on either side of me and Sirius sat on the table in front of me.

"Evans, this might come as a bit of a shock," he warned.

"Tell me what's going on," I repeated, ignoring the anxious bubbles in my stomach.

James cleared his throat. "Remember when I told you about us being Animagi?"

"You told her?" Sirius interrupted, shocked.

I nodded, addressing both of their questions at once. "What about it?" I asked, trying to ignore the awkwardness emanating from between James and I.

"We became Animagi because-"

Sirius stood up quickly. "You know, maybe this isn't the best idea..."

I glared at him and he sat back down slowly, rubbing his face tiredly. "Listen, Evans, there's things that you need to know and things you don't. This is one of those things where I think it's better if you don't know." I looked at him in disbelief. It was better for me not to know why James rejected me, why they were acting so weird and why I was in danger of Remus killing me? I quickly glanced at the others, but they were avoiding my eyes. James was silent, seemingly inclined to agree with his best friend and Remus bit his lip nervously.

"That's ridiculous," I scoffed, swallowing the feeling that Sirius might be right. Sirius was _never_ right. "Tell me, I can handle it."

James sighed, running a hand through his hair agitatedly while Sirius shook his head. "Fine, we became Animagi because we didn't want Remus...we didn't want him to have to-"

Sirius jumped up again. "Okay, I'm sorry, but don't you think we're making a mistake?"

I let out a frustrated breath. "Sirius, if you interrupt again, so help me..."

He waved my threat away with a hand and said, "Evans, I know you think you have to know everything, but trust me, you _don't_."

"It's a good thing I don't trust you then, Black," I shot back, crossing my arms.

He let out a frustrated growl and clenched his hands. "Prongs, think about it, if it was anyone else who wanted to know, would you tell them?"

James hesitated and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Well...no..."

"I'm not just anybody," I said hotly.

Remus finally spoke up. "She's right. I think she deserves to know."

I shot him a smile, but he ignored it, staring into the fire while Sirius snapped, "Fine, tell her then! Tell her all about it! It's bloody ridiculous, but nobody listens to me...don't come crying to me when she tells everyone..."

James looked down at the floor, trying to find the right words. I waited patiently until he said, "There's a reason why we call Remus Moony."

I nodded, encouraging him to go on.

"He goes through a...process...that is connected with the moon. Well...it's a transformation, really. And it's extremely painful for him, so we wanted to be there, for support you know? Since we couldn't go as humans, we decided to go as animals."

"A transformation?" I asked, my voice wavering. "What..._kind_ of transformation?"

"Lily," Remus said softly, laying a hand on my arm. "I don't want you to think any different of me."

"Yeah, Lily," Sirius said sarcastically, obviously still irritated that the others hadn't listened to him. "Underneath the fierce demeanor and the really terrifying howls and loss of all conscious thought, he's still our Remmy that we know and love."

"Remus…?" What was this about? I was really scared now. They couldn't be insinuating what I thought they were insinuating.

"Remember when I told you that Remus' Animagus form was a wolf?" James asked, leaning closer towards me.

I nodded numbly.

"Well, Remus isn't an Animagus," he went on slowly, gauging my reaction.

"Well—then—what-?"

Sirius huffed loudly. "If you're going to tell her, you might as well tell her."

James glared at Sirius as he tried to form his next sentence. "Remus is a...well-he's a..."

"I'm a werewolf, Lily," Remus muttered.

My breath hitched in my throat and I ogled at him for what seemed like a short eternity. I was going to vomit, I just knew it. One of my best friends was a werewolf, my (ex?) best friend was going to be a Death Eater most likely, The Marauders were Animagi _because_ of Remus being a…werewolf…

I shuddered.

"Lily?" Remus asked after I hadn't spoken.

I stood up, closing my eyes against the terrifying images I didn't want. Everything made sense now, why Remus always looked exhausted after a full moon, why he sometimes visited Madam Pomfrey for days at a time, how the Marauders all seemed to know everything about werewolves when we had covered it in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I opened my eyes and glanced at all of them nervously, hedging towards the stairs to my dormitory. "I'm pretty tired. Er...I think I'll go up to bed." And with strong déjà vu to the James Rejection Scene, I left the room without looking back at them.

As I fled up the stairs, trying to figure out how to handle this new information, I heard Sirius say something along the lines of, "I told you so."

* * *

Of course now I feel horrible.

I've got to be the worst best mate in the history of best mates, if I'm even counted as a best mate anymore.

Last night, I lay awake in bed, staring at the full moon, just imagining what Remus must be going through and the danger that James and Sirius faced just to be there with him. I would think about Peter, but let's face it; what can a rat do for a rampaging werewolf?

Now it was Saturday night and I hadn't gotten any sleep. How could I have left Remus alone like that? How could I have just walked away from one of the biggest confessions of his life? Why did I have to overreact so much?

I overreacted when James said he couldn't go to the party; I didn't even give him a chance to explain. And now, close to midnight, all I wanted to do was apologize and apologize and apologize and apologize and never ever stop. The party wasn't even that fun anyways, I had left at nine o'clock, thirty minutes after it started. If James wanted to skip that and help his friend, how was I supposed to hold that against him?

Remus Lupin told me he was a werewolf and I just left him there.

At least now their fight seemed to make more sense. Remus wanted to bring me with them when he transformed; James wouldn't hear of it. I was actually thankful James wouldn't allow it. Being in the same room with a werewolf wasn't exactly the idea of a night well spent. It sounded gruesome and awful and I just wanted to be his friend.

A loud roar of laughter drifted up the stairs and I bolted upright, listening hard. It sounded like people were in the common room. Was that normal? No. Did that mean it was the Marauders? Most likely. Dare I go down and join them? Definitely.

I crept out of bed, careful not to wake Alice or Marlene and tiptoed down the stairs, sitting just before the bottom step so that I was hidden from view, but could still hear them.

Sirius was the one that had been laughing. He was still chortling, something about a joke that James had made. I smiled, it had probably been funny.

"So, Prongs, you made up with Lily yet?" Sirius asked, taking a bite out of something crunchy.

"No…I'm about to go and beg her forgiveness. Do you think she'll be mad if I wake her up?"

"Definitely," Remus said, chuckling. "I'd advise you not to do it."

What? Were they friends again? And how was it that Remus wasn't speaking about me with utter revulsion in his tone?

"Oi, tell me again how the fight went again," Peter demanded.

"Wormy!" Sirius growled. "If you ask one more time, then I'm going to throw you into the fire and laugh as you burn."

"Padfoot, that's disgusting…Moony can I borrow that?" There was a loud thud and a groan and I guessed James had thrown something at Sirius for being so grotesque. "There was really nothing to it," James went on, to Peter this time. "Moony was being an idiot, and I snapped him out of it."

"Yeah, thanks for that. I don't know what was wrong…I think I just wanted Lily to be happy, you know? She was real torn up about you not being able to go to the party and I blamed myself."

"So, Lily's in on the secret?" Peter squeaked.

There were grunts of affirmation and then a meek, "She was torn up about me not going?"

I grimaced at the raw truth of Remus' words. I hadn't been mad or exasperated with James; I'd been hurt.

"Yeah," Remus continued. "And—Good Lord, Padfoot, go change your shirt."

"But this was my good one!"

"Not anymore," Remus muttered wryly.

Sirius whined a little longer before grumbling and stomping upstairs.

Silence.

"You shouldn't have blamed yourself, mate," James murmured.

Remus blamed himself. Remus blamed himself for my unhappiness which was really only because I couldn't suck it up and I decided to be a baby like Frank. Well, this was the moment to prove I could still be Lily Evans and half a Marauder too!

I darted out from the stairs and towards Remus, throwing my arms around him tightly. He froze before lightly patting me on the back and as I pulled away, he smiled at me. This was Remus, my friend, my study buddy, my go-to genius and werewolf one night a month. He had a harder time than I would ever know, and a little flaw like that shouldn't be enough to scare me away.

I squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry I left like that…I guess just needed time to adjust," I said quietly.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he asked, his lips pulled up into a rare beam.

"Yeah, I've been told that once or twice…mostly by that Potter bloke."

"Hey!" he shouted from behind me.

I laughed and turned to face him, swallowing my pride.

"I'm sorry I overreacted, James," I said, looking him straight in the eye, which (will I _never_ learn?) was a bad idea.

"No, don't be so—"

"Will you please just accept my apology so we can move on?" I asked, crossing my fingers.

For once James Potter closed his mouth and he nodded, running a hand through his hair.

"Good," I said, smiling at him.

A loud bark startled me and I jumped, turning towards the stairs. A shaggy black dog was crouched there, wagging its tail and panting slightly. It sprang at me and I stumbled backwards, falling to the floor under the animal as it began licking my face repeatedly until James pulled it off of me.

"Aw, hey there," I cooed, reaching to pet it.

"I hope you realize that you just got kissed by Sirius Black."

"_What?_"

Remus, Peter, and Sirius, who transformed back into himself, began howling with laughter, while James stood, pouting slightly with his arms crossed.

"That's not fair," he said, furrowing his brow.

I let out a loud giggle as I realized he was jealous. How adorable was that? Maybe, just maybe, he would get his act together within the next week and realize that I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him. Maybe, just maybe, he would ask me and this would be the one time I would accept. Maybe, just maybe, everything _would_ work out in the end.


	10. YouNoDrink

_a/n: we're getting closer to the end here, guys! Tell me what you think! _

**You-No-Drink**

"If Hufflepuff beats Slytherin then we only have to beat Hufflepuff in the next game, which is harder than it looks because surprisingly they've got vicious beaters. I've gotten a broken arm in most of the games against them."

"Ouch," I grimaced. "At least you beat Ravenclaw today, I heard they were tough."

"Ravenclaw?" James snorted. "They're the easiest."

"Oh…maybe I should find a new Quidditch consultant."

Way to go Lily, try to be cool around James and you end up looking a right sight like an idiot.

"Who _is_ your Quidditch consultant?" James asked.

"Alice," I grumbled.

He laughed again and linked his arm with mine. "I'll be your Quidditch consultant now, yeah?"

"Er—yeah, yeah, okay…"

Incessant stuttering is a necessity with James, I suppose. This whole week we've been civil and friendly and Alice even accused me of flirting with him (which I believed because Alice knows flirting much better than she knows Quidditch. Unless she planned the whole thing to make me look like an idiot in front of James and have him replace her…in which case I owe her many chocolate frogs and a hug, but I digress) and I've babbled every bloody day. I've also been stuttering recently.

_And_ I have panic attacks almost every night. James still hasn't asked me to Hogsmeade, which is tomorrow, and the fact that my stomach does strange acrobatics whenever he's near tells me that I want to go with him. Alice keeps telling me that he's respecting me by not asking, but I think he's being mean. Not intentionally of course, unless it's one of Sirius' brilliant plans (and by brilliant I mean daft). Alice also said that if I really want to go, I should ask him.

Oh yes, Alice, since that turned out so well the last time.

I've begun to notice that Alice says a lot of things.

A skinny, dark haired boy exited a class on my right. "Sev!" I called, smiling to myself.

He took one look at me, took one look at Potter, took one look at our arms, took another glance at me and then turned around and went back in the class.

James raised an eyebrow as I gasped. "I'm taking it he wasn't supposed to ignore you?"

"He didn't ignore me," I said, annoyed. "He obviously just had homework to do or something." That had to be it. Severus didn't show up and give me a pep talk in the middle of the night to simply forget about it and act like it never happened. Did he?

"Oh yeah, because there's so much homework to do in an abandoned class room," James muttered, glaring at the closed door.

"_James_," I sighed, breaking our arm's contact.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "Er…it probably helps him think?"

That had to be it. Severus wouldn't avoid me...would he? Yes, he definitely would. _You know that, Lily. He's gone so far to act like he doesn't know you exist when he's with his Slytherin friends._

"That's ridiculous!" I snapped.

"Well how—you know, why don't we just forget about Severus, it's making you angry."

"Fine," I muttered. I could do that.

"_Rictumsempra_," James said quietly, not making another move to touch me as we entered the common room. I was kind of disappointed, Severus had ruined James' mood…at least he hadn't hexed him, which was something to be happy for.

That's when I noticed the party.

Apparently Quidditch is also something to be happy about.

All of Gryffindor house was taking part in a large get-together. Banners hung from the ceiling and draped the walls; the hearth area was now a dance floor and many students were jumping around energetically as Selena Warbeck and assorted artists emitted from the corners of the room. Several armchairs had become official snogging sections while miraculously the couch was only occupied by friends laughing and animatedly talking to each other. The desk that normally held textbooks and essays had been elongated and filled with Butterbeers and Firewhiskys and muffins and cookies and cakes and cheeses and Honeyduke's chocolates and everything imaginable. My mouth watered just looking at it. Everyone cheered as James entered the room and he let out a roar of laughter, his spirits instantly heightened.

A mob engulfed him and shouted congratulations and how we were only one game away from the Quidditch Cup.

I was left standing in the doorway, grinning to myself. Maybe tonight I'd let the atmosphere take me away.

"Lily!" I heard Alice call from across the room. I searched until I found her slender body skipping around the dance floor.

* * *

I was so bored. Not just a little bored like draw-on-yourself-bored. I was poke-your-eyes-out-with-quills-and-then-get-sent-to-Madam-Pomfrey-only-to-hex-her-and-risk-getting-expelled-just-to-have-a-good-laugh-bored. And Lily Evans doesn't risk getting expelled simply for something to do. But, oh, how inviting the proposal sounded.

I had been lounging against a wall for the better part of two hours because there was absolutely nothing to do.

I'd eaten everything on the food table, talked to Remus, ate some more, annoyed Sirius, gotten a stomach-ache, startled Peter by reciting a twenty minute monologue about the dangers of eating too much, border-line stalked James trying to find an opening to go and talk with him (unfortunately a little more than half of the Gryffindor female population was fawning over him (along with some girls I was almost positive belonged to Hufflepuff) and there was no possible way for me to say hello), went to find Alice, found her with Frank in a snogging section, ran away, danced a little more, and finally collapsed against the wall waiting for something to do.

Alice had disappeared, it was late (and I mean _really_ late. Some Gryffindors just have a boundless supply of energy. Excluding little Kenneth Creevey, an under-average fifth year who fell asleep curled up at the bottom of the stairs), and I couldn't make myself become tired, no matter how hard I tried. So I continued to wait for something to do.

Something to do hadn't found me yet.

A loud guffaw sounded from the couch along with some obnoxious ranting and the people on the couch shifted uncomfortably. The mysterious ranting continued and I leaned forward, excited at the prospect of solving a mystery. The couch occupants stood up eventually, looking rather harassed and went to talk at the foot of the stairs.

Oh.

Mystery of the mysterious, angry ranting solved.

Sirius Black.

My brain decided it was time to annoy him some more so I picked myself up and sauntered over, taking a seat next to him.

"Hello, Black," I said cheerily, "I heard a rumor that you broke your record for most girls snogged by Sirius in one night."

He sighed loudly. "Nope, not—not tonight!"

He hiccupped loudly and sloshed a bit of what I presumed to be Firewhisky over the edge of the bottle. My eyebrows flew up. "Er…Sirius how much have you drank?"

He shrugged, hiccupping again. "It's for the best," he slurred, downing the rest of his bottle. "It's the best medicine. You should try it, Alice."

"I'm Lily," I said slowly, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Er-what?"

I sighed. "I'm Lily. _Evans._ Lily Pad, remember?"

He swayed where he was sitting. "I know you're Lily. I'm not Peter. You need to drink some; I'll go get more." He stood up, his hands shaking slightly and practically fell across the room to get two more drinks. He came tripping back and sat on me before realizing I wasn't the couch and moving. "Take it," he groaned, shoving the bottle into my hand. "You need it."

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked, reluctantly taking the bottle from his grip.

"I found your note!"

"What note?" I asked cautiously. Was Sirius lucid or were his sentences Firewhisky-induced?

"Why you love him," he mumbled, giggling.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, looking at him in concern.

He covered his ears, breathing heavily. "Merlin, stop yelling!" I didn't mention he was the one hollering now. Remus was looking over in concern. "I found your list," he said, lowering his voice to a hiss. "I found your list!"

"What list?" I asked in exasperation.

"The list of James! I like him and I don't like him and I do like him, blah blah blah."

A sudden flashback to the library and me writing pros and cons on a sheet of parchment found its way back to me. "What?" I gasped. "You have it? How?"

"It was on the floor when Sluggy made you sit next to Moony and me sit with JP," he slurred.

"You mean James?" I asked. "Are you saying the note fell out of my bag when he let me trade seats with you?"

"Uh-huh…" he paused to gulp some more drink. "You love him, baby doll."

"Sirius Black, I'm going to shave your head if you _ever_ call me that again, and I don't care if you _are_ drunk off your arse."

"Sorry," he said, his eyes flashing fear for a moment before turning vacant once more. "You love him. I can tell."

"I don't love James!" I muttered fiercely. "That's insane!"

"I didn't show him the list," Sirius went on, disregarding my protest and hiccuping loudly.

"Why not?"

"I'm not bad like _Frank_," he spit the last word, and my eyebrows came together in confusion. "But you love him and he's not asking you out because he doesn't want to mess it up this time. And he won't ask you out! He told me! You have to! And the Froggy I know doesn't ask out Prongs…so you need the drink…"

Well. He did make a good point. Lily Evans in her right mind doesn't ask James Potter to Hogsmeade especially after he rejected her. And drinking Firewhisky (which I had never done but always secretly wanted to do) was one of the only things I hadn't done that night.

Really, what harm could one bottle do?

The answer to that is not much. One bottle of Firewhiskey couldn't do much harm. But that stuff was _addicting _and pretty soon I had downed three and a half. (A word of advice, if you're not used to drinking this stuff, you should make sure someone cuts you off. Three and half and already my thoughts were fogging and I was giggling at everything Sirius said, even though I couldn't understand half of it.)

Ten minutes later and I was starting on my fifth one and all I could think about was how snog-worthy James looked tonight, and how I was going to make him come to Hogsmeade with me if it was the last thing I ever did.

I stood up determinedly, dropping my bottle which Sirius caught, and suddenly Alice knocked me over.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she giggled. "I just wanted to talk to you."

I dragged myself upright again and felt myself stumbling before hearing Alice dreamily say, "…the stars, oh they were so beautiful!"

I gave a loud, manic cackle and patted Alice clumsily on the back. "You're so funny."

Her eyes almost bugged out of her head. "Lily, have you been drinking?"

I didn't answer, merely lurched my way across the room to where James was giving yet _another_ play by play of the Quidditch game.

"Lily!"

I ignored her.

Everything seemed so much more blurry now, and all I could think was Hogsmeade, Hogsmeade, Hogsmeade.

I pushed a girl roughly out of my way and squeezed through the crowd until I was facing James.

"Evans!" he said, a broad grin taking its place on his face. "Having fun?"

I nodded and said loudly, "Hogswart?"

_Oops._

"Hogwarts?" he asked, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. "Are you alright?"

"I mean…Hogsmeade!" I said it slower this time, making sure I pronounced it correctly. He had to come, he just had to.

"What about it?" he asked slowly.

Wow…everything was getting quieter…is this normal? Maybe I should ask Sirius. I heard myself giggle. After I talk to James, I'll ask Sirius, yeah, that's it.

"Come with me."

Nobody spoke, and I heard the gaggle of girls gasp. "Is this a joke?" he asked carefully.

I shook my head and my knees buckled. He caught me out of pure reflex and I breathed him in hungrily. "Come to Hogsmeade with me and drink Sirius…drink serious_ly_ at the Three Broomsticks."

He didn't understand my statement, and neither did I for that matter. I had no control over what came out of my mouth. As I realized that I couldn't seem to regain any strength in my legs, I started to think that maybe listening to Sirius and drowning my insecurities in Firewhisky wasn't a good idea.

"And you really want me to go?" James asked, his face looking so vulnerable I would have wanted to give an Alice squeal had I been coherent.

I nodded, because that's all it felt like I could do and James gave a mighty whoop, hugging me tightly and swinging me around one time.

As he set me back on my feet, I stopped spinning, but the room didn't. I closed my eyes trying to ward off the feelings of dizziness and nausea that were creeping in on me. I opened my eyes slowly and James' face swam in front of me, framed with too bright light from the Common Room.

This was not good.

"Of course I'll come with you!" he exclaimed.

I promptly passed out.


	11. Of Snoring PillowMen

**Of Snoring Pillow-Men**

The first thing I felt as I fought my way back to consciousness was the painful throbbing that seemed to be splitting my mind in half.

"Ow..."

I blearily opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings. A banner, a table loaded with most-likely stale food, the fire…the Common Room?

What was I doing in here?

And _why_ was my head reaching the point of implosion?

…Hogsmeade…Firewhisky…Hogsmeade…James…Oh, Merlin.

I'm going to kill Sirius.

I groaned, blinking my eyes to try and clear away some blurriness, and what I originally took as a large blanket and some pillows that my legs were resting on shot awake, mumbling something.

I gasped because pillows aren't alive and they can't shoot awake and mumble under their breath. I tried to feel around for my wand but it was use. 1) It hurt to move my arm 2) Even if I did miraculously find my wand, my head hurt too much to think of a defensive spell, and 3) the firelight threw the "pillow-man's" face into light and I realized it was none other than James Potter.

"Lily!" he said, obviously relieved. "How do you feel?"

"Like throwing up," I croaked, wincing as my vocal chords strained.

"You passed out," he said, chewing on his lip.

"My head hurts," I moaned pathetically. James sat up more, resituating the pillows under my head like it would somehow help.

"I'm sorry," he said, frowning. "Remus told me Sirius and you were drinking or something?"

"Ugh," I muttered. "I'm going to hex him into oblivion."

"Already done," James laughed slightly. "Are you okay, other than your headache? Do you—do you remember anything you said?"

My cheeks flushed despite my condition. "Er…yeah…yeah, I do."

"And...were those just the words of a drunken Lily Evans? Or does the offer still stand?"

I was slightly confused as I struggled to force my foggy brain to understand. Why would James still want to go to Hogsmeade with me after I fainted in drunkenness?

"Don't you find me...you know...sort of daft?" I asked, still trying to fully overcome the nausea that was unsettling my stomach.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Undesirable?" I elaborated, swallowing thickly.

James snorted, shaking his head. "No. In fact, drunken Lily Evans was quite desirable, if I do say so myself; although I do prefer sober Lily Evans."

I laughed softly, closing my eyes. "Then yeah, the offer still stands."

"Wonderful! This is going to be the best Hogsmeade trip I've ever taken!"

I peeked out between my lashes and his face was positively glowing. Seriously, I think I was blinded by the brightness of his smile for a moment.

"Ow, my head," I moaned.

"Oh!" James reached onto the floor for his wand, muttering a quick spell before I could protest. Almost immediately, my headache dissipated and I was able to think clearly for the first time.

"Wait a minute…is this some kind of hallucination? Why are you down here?"

James flashed me a small smile and ran his hand through his hair. "You didn't think I'd just leave you alone in the Common Room to deal with your hangover alone, did you?"

"Alice could have helped..."

He shook his head. "Alice has never experienced a hangover herself, she would not be any help at all. Plus she doesn't know the spell to help your headache disappear." He smirked, patting my leg. "It had to be me."

"So you've—you stayed down here with me?"

He shrugged. "It was nice. You won't believe how loud Sirius snores; I actually feel like I got a good night's sleep."

"Well…thanks," I said lamely, astonished he seemed to care so much.

"No problem. Remus reckons next time you should just have a Butterbeer though."

I rolled my eyes. "What next time?" I asked. "There will be no next time. Sirius _bloody _Black—"

He cut me off with an affectionate laugh. "Ah, this is why I love you Lily. Your hatred of my best mate is priceless."

I smiled, a little unsettled by his casal proclamation of love and sat up, pulling my feet off his lap where they were still resting. "Er…I guess I'll just go on up to the dormitories…"

"Yeah," he said, running a hand through his hair again. "You need a good rest. I'll see you tomorrow for our…date."

I gulped nervously, but didn't contradict him. "G'night James."

"Night Lily," he said, sounding slightly dazed.

I stumbled up the stairs to my dormitories unable to wipe to stupid grin off of my face.

* * *

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes the next morning was Alice's face inches from my own, her eyes wide and staring.

"GAHH!" I shrieked, jerking backwards and hitting a bed post. "Ow! Damn..."

"Lily, are you okay?" Alice asked worriedly.

"It's a wooden bed post! It _stings _a bit—"

"Not about that," she said hurriedly, "About the…_incident_ last night."

"What incident?" I asked, suddenly slightly scared. Was there something I didn't remember?

"I leave you for two minutes and I return to find you knocking back drinks with Sirius! D'you know you ended the entire party?"

"I did?" I whispered, embarrassment overtaking me.

She nodded, a reproving look on her face. "James absolutely freaked out. I've never seen him like that before. As it is, I think Sirius lost an eyebrow."

I choked back a giggle. "So he ended the whole party?"

"Well these girls kept making snide little comments and I hexed one and Remus had to confiscate James' wand so he wouldn't and James laid you on the couch and didn't talk to anyone else and Remus just sent everyone to bed. I think he's going to make a good father, by the way. And I went downstairs before I went up to bed last night to spy because I wanted to make sure James took good care of you…and guess what Lily? Oh, I wasn't going to tell you, but he gave you a foot massage! You didn't even ask! In fact, you were unconscious which makes the whole thing even more romantic!" She clasped her hands together and beamed at me, waiting for me to say something about James' 'self-less' act.

"How is that romantic?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head where the post had probably bruised.

She sighed exasperatedly. "It just is. I thought I was going to die from the way he looked at you. He _adores_ you Lily. He –"

"Okay," I cut her off quickly. "That's enough."

She seemed taken aback but stopped all the same. I was surprised in myself. Why was I feeling scared? There was no reason to…

"Alright…well…you slept past lunch. You should probably get ready if you still intend on going to Hogsmeade with him."

"How'd you know I was going with him?" I asked, sitting up slowly and stretching my arms.

"I was there, Lily! Oh Merlin, the way you asked him was the greatest thing ever! You literally stepped on some random girl's face!"

"Alice!" I gasped. "That is not funny!"

She snickered. "It's okay, I think she was a fourth year. You just better hurry up, because pretty soon everyone will start coming back from Hogsmeade and you won't get your date. Pip, pip!"

I groaned, but did as she said because Alice was right. I pulled on some denim pants and a nice green jumper Alice threw at me. She claimed 'it brought out my eyes'.

"Where are my shoes?" I asked, searching the room, pushing away panic and dropping to the floor to search. "Alice, _where are my shoes?_"

"Which ones?" Alice asked as she performed a grooming charm to my bed head.

"I was wearing them last night," I said, sneezing from all the dust under her bed. "They're little white flats!"

"Did you get them out of the Common Room when you came up here?" she asked.

I froze. "Of course I didn't," I snapped, "I was a little too preoccupied with James and our date to Hogsmeade."

She bit her cheek and shot me a strange glance, but said nothing.

We climbed down the stairs and I stopped near the bottom, making Alice run into me. "Lily," she sighed. "Keep going."

I pointed at James, still sprawled on the couch and snoring.

Her eyes lit up and she began giggling. "Go wake him up!"

"Alice," I hissed. "I don't want to wake him up!"

"Go!"

"No!"

"He'll love being woken up by you!" she insisted.

"Alice…"

She sighed. "Lily, what's wrong with you?"

I groaned, knocking my fist against my head. "I don't know...I'm sorry, Alice."

She gave me a half-smile. "It's okay, Lily, I get it. Love stresses you out."

I whipped my head towards her, unleashing one of the glares I used to use on James on her. "I don't _love _him!"

"But he loves you..." she sang, grinning impishly.

"Don't remind me," I moaned.

A scandalized gasp slipped from her mouth. "_Lily!_ What-"

A groan sounded from the couch and James sat up suddenly, looking around in confusion. Alice trailed off, still watching me worriedly. He blinked once, and for a moment I thought he was angry, but then he shot me a smile and stood up, stretching lazily. "Morning, Lily. I thought I heard your voice."

I cleared my throat, trying to calm down the nervous butterflies that had erupted at his words. "Sorry, I just came down to get my shoes."

He leaned down and picked them up, offering them to me with a lopsided grin. "I see you're all ready for our _date _then?"

I nodded, taking my shoes and slipping them on quickly, not missing the fact that he pronounced "date" with relish. "Yeah."

"Well you look nice," he complimented. "Just...wait on the couch while I go get ready."

As soon as I nodded, he dashed upstairs to change and Alice rounded on me, spitting fire.

"Okay, _why_ do you seem like you're dreading this date?" she demanded, crossing her arms and tapping her foot menacingly. "Tell me, right now, or I'll...I'll never talk to you again!"

"I'm not...I'm not dreading it," I mumbled, slightly ashamed. "I'm just...just-"

"Just what?

A thousand thoughts were whizzing through my head, some such as these; What if I made a fool out of myself? What if it went horribly? What if there was nothing to talk about? Why did I feel scared that he liked me so much?

Alice would of course disapprove of all these worries, and I paused, trying to think of how to word it in a way she could relate to. She grew impatient very quickly and instead of listening to me, she burst out with, "Lily, I get that you don't deal with stress well, I've known you for six years, and whenever an exam comes around, you act just like this. What I dont get is why _James, _is stressing you out!"

"I'm just-I'm not used to it," I defended myself, dropping down onto the couch in despair, "it's weird! And what if I don't like him as much as he likes me, and what if he's expecting more, and what if I can't give it to him, and what if I mess everything up, and-"

"Okay stop," she said, holding up a hand. "You need to take a deep breath, enjoy your day, and cross those bridges when you come to them. Trust me Lily, you and James are meant to be together; everything will work out, I promise."

"Okay..." I smiled weakly. "Thanks Alice..."

She winked and sauntered off. "Hey, that's why you call me your best friend."

I took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, trying to calm down. I had almost succeeded when I heard his feet pounding down the stairs.

He burst in the room, wearing a simple white button-up shirt that was slightly unbuttoned with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow, loosely tucked into a pair of trousers. He smiled brightly, and I felt my stomach drop at the sight. "Ready to go?"

I nodded unsurely.

_a/n: Okay, so I know some of you (or most of you) are probably thinking, "What is wrong with Lily Evans?" Yeah I understand, I thought the same thing as I was writing this. I just felt like Lily would be one to worry about things for no reason. Sorry if you're disappointed in her. ANYWAYS, review! :) next chapter will be their date! _


	12. Would You Rather

**Would You Rather**

"So, we've already been to the book store and Honeydukes…I think it's time for a well earned break. What say you?"

I smiled. "I say that sounds nice."

"Nice?" he scoffed. "It sounds like a bloody fantastic time."

"I guess," I said, pretending to be bored.

He stuck his tongue out at me and nudged my fingers with his. I blushed and he grinned as he registered my reaction to him. "Where would you like to go? We could go to Madame Puddifoot's for some sugary tea and pretty pinkness?"

I groaned, trying to hold back a laugh. "Never in a million years, Potter."

"Then how about the Hog's Head? He'll give us Firewhisky." I knew he was teasing about the last part, I had already told him I would never drink Firewhisky again unless I had a good reason. (A good reason constituting as You-Know-Who kidnapping me and telling me that if I didn't drink Firewhiskey, he'd kill my family.)

"I've never even been there," I told him, frowning slightly. "I heard the bartender was a creep."

His eyebrows rose. "Aberforth? Aberforth's not a creep. But if you want, we could just go to the Three Broomsticks."

I nodded. "That sounds good."

He grabbed my hand lightly. "Come on then."

I hated to admit it, but I was having one of the best dates of my life. James made everything fun, and I couldn't go a minute without him doing something completely adorable and sending my stomach into a frenzy of fluttering butterfly activities. He had let me browse around the bookstore for as long as I pleased and then brought me to Honeydukes against my will. I ended up happy I had gone though, because as it turns out, James knew the owner and we gorged ourselves on free samples.

We got to the entrance of the Three Broomsticks and I pushed open the door. Every single table was full and the line of people waiting to sit wound around the whole inside of the shop. I groaned. James leaned down to my ear and asked, "Sure you don't want to go to the Hog's Head? I guarantee that it won't be this packed."

I sucked in a breath as his voice swirled lowly through my head and turned to smile at him, exhaling slowly. "Why not? Let's do something different for a change."

He beamed and pulled me from the shop; he tightened his grip on my hand as we turned onto a dark alleyway occupied only by a ragged looking witch, and didn't loosen it even when we turned onto another road. We followed the stone path until we came upon a slightly run down pub. As we entered, I saw with delight that almost all of the tables were open.

"Wow," I said, impressed. "It's quaint."

He smiled. "Yeah, hard to believe Dumbledore's brother owns it."

My jaw almost fell off.

James simply laughed and led me to an open table in the back of the pub and we ordered Butterbeers. When they came, James downed his in three gulps and then simply watched me drink mine.

"So…" he said after a while. "I have a question."

I nodded for him to continue.

"Would you rather read or study?"

"Read," I answered immediately. "What about you?"

"Nuh-uh," he said, smiling slightly. He brought his hand from his bottle and began playing with my fingers which were lying on the table. "That's against the rules."

"There are rules to 'Would you Rather'?" I asked, snorting into my drink.

"You can't repeat a question back to the question-asker," he said, drawing a circle on the back of my palm. Guess what?

I got palm sparks. (And a very disconcerting chill that went all the way up my arm, but that's beside the point.)

"Alright," I said, clearing my throat. "Would you rather fly on a broom or a hippogriff?"

"A broom," he answered quickly. "I have no desire to get trampled. Did you know that it's Sirius' life ambition to ride a hippogriff?"

I laughed at Sirius because I could, and because James was making me so giddy that I had to laugh at something or I'd explode.

"Would you rather dig up a body or cough up a hair-ball?"

"Ew! James! Er…cough up a hair-ball. Would you rather dance with the Giant Squid or get sat on by Hagrid?"

He thought about it for a good three minutes until I became impatient and asked again. He interlaced his fingers with mine and said, "Dance with the Giant Squid, definitely. Would you rather see a thestral or see Sirius everyday of your life?"

I groaned. "I'm going to say Sirius but only because I'd rather not see someone die."

"How noble of you," James teased, grinning.

I smiled at him and asked, "Would you rather…snog McGonagall or Madam Pomfrey?"

James scrunched up his nose. "Lily! And you call me disgusting? Oh, Merlin…er, I guess…McGonagall?"

I snickered for five minutes straight as he switched between being embarrassed and making jokes about Sirius getting jealous.

Finally he stood, offering me a hand. "I've had enough of this game," he whined, hanging his head. "Let's go to the shrieking shack."

"That does sound interesting," I admitted, shooting him a glare as I took his hand and stood up. "But you're a sore loser."

He cocked his head. "Am I? Tell me Lily, how exactly does one lose at Would You Rather?"

I narrowed my eyes and complained, "You know what I mean."

He smiled teasingly and pulled me closer, interlacing our fingers slowly. Neither of us pulled away and we walked to the shrieking shack in content silence, James rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand soothingly.

"Here we are," he said, dropping my hand.

I felt kind of empty at first but he shot me an easy smile and the warm feeling that seemed to accompany James spread through me again. He pulled a tightly folded cloak out of somewhere in his jacket and placed it on the ground, lying down on it and gesturing me to join him.

"The clouds look so pretty," I said dreamily.

"Yeah," James agreed. "See that one?" He pointed to one right above my head.

I nodded.

"What does it look like to you?"

"It looks like…the Whomping Willow." I yawned suddenly, feeling more than comfortable on his cloak thing.

He chuckled. "It's like you read my mind. I think we're soulmates, Lily."

I didn't answer and he turned on his side, tugging on my hip until I had done the same and we were facing eachother, mere inches away.

"What are you doing?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

He smirked. "What does it look like?"

My breath caught and looked at him in surprise but his gaze didn't waver. The words came out in a rush of emotion as his messy hair and hazel eyes and perfect hands and quietly toned muscles and straight nose and strong jaw and sure smirk seemed to overwhelm me. I ducked my head as I blurted, "James, I like you," twisting my hands in several knots.

"Well of course you like me, Lily. I've successfully given you my love potion," he murmured, bringing his hand up to pull me ever closer.

I let my breath out in a rush of hot air and looked up at him, feeling like a coiled spring. He leaned in slightly and I held my breath, praying that I wouldn't throw up in nervousness or something equally as horrid. Here it was, the moment of truth. Here's the moment where he's going to lean in and snog me and realize that I'm awful at it and lose all interest in me because I'm nowhere near as experienced as him.

His voice was low and calm and alluring in the early evening air. "If it means anything, I would rather kiss you than McGonagall."

I smile spread across my face as he took my hand and pulled me to my feet. "I'm yours, Lily. What do you say you call a truce and be mine for a change?"

I snorted, "How long did it take you to come up with that line?"

He frowned. "All night! Isn't it good?"

I smiled, tilting my head to the side as he took a step closer. "Yeah," I said fondly. "Yeah, it's good."

"So…what do you say? Lily Evans, do you take me to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hol—"

"James!"

"Alright, alright, if it's too early for marriage, I guess you could just be my girlfriend," he said, squeezing my hand.

"I'd like that," I admitted, blushing slightly.

"Oh, thank God, Lily, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that," he sighed, swooping in to kiss me softly on the cheek.

He beamed brilliantly at me, and tugged on my hand. "Come on, we'd better get back to the castle. I'd hate to miss dinner and the chance to announce us to the whole world!"

My heart sped up as he slipped the term "us" so easily into the sentence.

He pulled me after him excitedly and I followed, my fears of messing up my first kiss with James Potter abated at the moment, and my heart lighter than it had been in awhile.

_a/n: I'm sorry it took so long to post this, I had it uploaded and I decided to reread it and I realized that I hated everything I had written. I like this MUCH better and I hope you guys do too! :) Review! The story's almost over D:_


	13. Bloody Lips, Grabbed Hips

_a/n: This is it! After this chapter, it's over! :( I'm currently working on another story that switches back and forth between Sirius' point of view and Lily's point of view and I'm really excited to finish it; would any of you be interested in reading something like that? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story! _

**Bloody Lips, Grabbed Hips**

"Come on," he whined, tugging on my hand for what had to be the eighth time.

I sighed, speeding my pace just a little. I tried to sound annoyed but found it too complicated to do whilst I was still smiling like a fool. Instead, I settled on a half-hearted complaint, giddy laughs threatening to explode out of me at any moment. "James, why do we have to tell everyone this instant? What's the big rush?"

He rolled his eyes, rounding the last corner before the Great Hall at a high speed. "Lily Evans, I have waited almost all my years at Hogwarts to be able to brag about this to everyone. I will not wait any longer."

I accepted his explanation with no arguments, somewhat flattered to be paraded around like this (no doubt it would make every female in the school jealous) and he led me inside, making a bee-line to the two empty seats at the Gryffindor table that one of the Marauders had saved for us.

"Guess what?" James called out to them, before we were even halfway there.

Peter looked up curiously.

Remus raised an eyebrow.

Sirius took a sip of his pumpkin juice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice craning her neck over several people's heads in order to watch what was happening.

"Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot, and anyone else who's sitting in this general area, say hello to my new girlfriend," he proclaimed proudly, holding up our intertwined fingers as proof.

Peter's jaw dropped.

Remus grinned.

Sirius choked on his pumpkin juice.

I was faintly aware of a squeal that almost certainly came from Alice, but I ignored it for the moment, positive she would not allow me to go to sleep tonight until I had told her everything.

Sirius coughed loudly until he could take in enough air to say, "_What?_"

I felt my face grow hot as we began to attract more attention from students eating nearby. Several catcalls and cheers sounded from various tables and was accompanied by angry grumbling as half of the girls in the school realized their chances with James Potter were ruined.

"Prongs! I'm so proud of you! Who asked who out? Please tell me that you asked her because if you cost me another Galleon, I swear—"

He gasped angrily, letting my hand fall back to my side. "You guys have been betting on me?"

"Well, yeah," Sirius said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Of course, ever since Evans demanded you to slip her love potion."

"I did no—" I began to protest, glaring at Sirius as he ignored me.

"—so far Evans has asked you out twice and Moony is two Galleons richer! Tell me you grew the bollocks to ask her, I'm almost out of money!"

I scowled at him as James chuckled and said, "Yeah, yeah, I did."

"Yes!" Sirius cheered. "Cough it up, Moony! You owe me a Galleon!"

He rolled his eyes and continued eating his steak. "I'll give it to you later, I don't have any money on me right now."

"That's a bloody lie!" Sirius protested. "You didn't even buy anything at Zonko's!"

Remus ignored him and turned to me as James and I took our seats and began loading our plates with food. "Did you have fun today, Lily?"

I nodded eagerly, itching to tell him about the time I'd spent at Flourish and Blott's but Sirius interrupted yet again.

"She'd better have had fun, James ditched us to hang out with her."

Peter nodded his head furiously and wheezed, "Yeah," giving me a strange look out of the corner of his eye. Was that…a flicker of jealousy I saw?

James sighed loudly and rolled his eyes as Sirius sent him a sad pout. "Gee Padfoot, why would I ever want to hang out with a smart, beautiful, and funny girl when I could be buying Dungbombs with you?"

"Exactly my point, mate! Speaking of Dungbombs, we need to plant one in Kenneth Creevey's bed before he gets done eating. Come on!"

James ignored him and speared a potato with his fork, finding my hand under the table and taking hold of it again. "Go on without me."

Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "Alright, I've had enough. Break up with her right now!"

"What? No!" James exclaimed, chucking a roll at Sirius' head.

Sirius scowled as it hit him and complained, "I don't want to have to think up some elaborate plan to take Evans out of the picture just so you'll hang out with us! It'll be easier on everyone if you just get her out of the way now!"

"Excuse me?" I cried, whipping my wand out from my pocket and brandishing it at Sirius. "If you even _try_ to 'take me out of the picture', I'll set your hair on fire with your own wand, _Black_!"

James snickered at Sirius' horrified face and murmured, "That's my girl," lowly into my ear.

I gave him a smirk and Sirius made a horrible retching sound before disgustedly muttering. "Come on then, mates. I guess it's just the three of us."

They exited the Great Hall, Sirius loudly grumbling about "James' unacceptable boyfriend mode" and how I'd be lucky if he didn't report me for "psychotic death-threats".

"Don't worry, he'll get over it," James assured me, snagging another roll. "He does this all the time."

"That's actually quite pathetic," I admitted, shaking my head and ignoring the death glare I was receiving from a Ravenclaw.

He snorted. "Tell me about it. Enough talk about Sirius though, let's talk about more important things."

"Like what?"

"Like you, me, and another moonlit broom ride."

* * *

Alice let out a piercing shriek and ran over to hug me. "Lily, he _proposed_? That is so romantic!"

I sighed, extracting myself from her prison of tightly wound arms and explained, "He didn't _actually _propose, he was joking…I think."

She gave another screech and leaped onto her bed, falling dreamily back into the pillows. "And now you have another date with him where he's going to take you outside on his broom and kiss you under the stars!"

I groaned and sank onto my bed, watching her face fall from ecstatic to worried. "…Lils? You do _want_ to kiss him, right? _Right?_"

I nodded, and her panic-ridden tone softened a bit. "Well what's the problem?"

I bit my lip before blurting out, "I'm going to mess it up, I just know it!"

"Lily!" she scolded. "What have I told you about this?"

I quickly thought back to all the times Alice had ever given me advice on James Potter and muttered, "Er…nothing?"

She sighed, springing off her bed and coming to sit next to me on mine. "Lily, the only way you could possibly mess up a kiss with him is if you psych yourself out. Let your instincts take over. Just don't think about it too much, and it will be perfect!"

I looked at her, unconvinced. "What if I've already thought about it too much?"

Her sure smile faded a bit as she thought of an answer. "Well…how much have you thought about it?"

I grimaced and her brown eyes widened. "This might be a problem…"

* * *

Maybe if I had been ready for it, it wouldn't have been so dreadful.

Maybe if I hadn't thought about it so much, even after Alice warned me not to, things would have turned out differently.

But I wasn't ready, and I had thought about it, so the kiss turned out terrible.

The evening started out pleasant enough. We had met at the couch as usual, hid under his invisibility cloak and snuck out of the castle, just as we had done on our previous midnight rides.

He didn't perform scary tricks and he didn't try to speed around just so I would hold on.

It was nice and peaceful and relaxing, and after we had watched the stars and flew over the Black Lake, I was sufficiently sleepy.

My arms were looped around his waist, my cheek resting on his back, my eyes half-closed.

He let his broom idle as he turned around towards me. "Thanks for coming on this date with me, Lily," he said lowly.

This time, instead of denying it was a date I said, "No problem, it was perfect."

That's when it happened.

I was busy looking at how high we were off the ground, wondering if it was dangerous for him to be turned around. He was busy leaning in to snog me.

His lips connected with mine and I was so startled that my mouth immediately snapped shut, my teeth biting down hard on his lip.

"Ow!" he gasped, rearing back quickly. "Shit, Lily!"

I tasted blood.

He put his hand up to his poor lip that I had practically chomped off and tapped it experimentally, wincing slightly.

I felt tears spring to my eyes. "I'm so sorry," I said quickly, all the blood in my body rushing to my cheeks. "Are you okay? Oh my God, James—"

"It's fine," he said trying and failing to smile light-heartedly. "I'm sure Poppy can fix it up just like new."

I ignored the alarming fact that he seemed to be on a first-name basis with the nurse and focused on trying not to cry with embarrassment while he was still right in front of me.

For a moment, I seriously considered jumping off the broom.

"This is some date," he said, trying to alleviate my worry.

I didn't find it funny.

"You can just take me back to the castle," I murmured.

"What? No—Lily! I didn't mean it like that, I'm really glad that you're the one who made my lip bleed!"

"Take me back, James," I whispered miserably. "I'm ready to go to bed."

He sighed. "Are you sure? We can stay out here, if you wa—"

"Yes, I'm sure," I snapped, my humiliation mixing with annoyance at myself for being such a baby and a failure at everything involving James Potter.

We walked back to the Common Room in silence, me regretting every last moment of that date, him trying to calm me down by rubbing my arm soothingly. My eyes were still in danger of overflowing.

As soon as we were inside I started towards the stairs.

"Lily, wait!" he exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to him.

"I'm sorry for your lip," I muttered, a tear silently spilling over. I refused to look at him, wondering how I could discreetly wipe it away.

"It's fine, really, remind me to tell you a story about a girl that Sirius kissed, it's worse than this—"

His words rang in my ears, making more tears spill over.

_It's worse than this. _

_It's worse than this._

_I'm the worst kiss he's ever had. If you could even call that a kiss._

"Goodnight," I said thickly, pulling away from him.

"Are you _crying_?" he asked, coming after me once more. "Lily, please just listen to me. It doesn't matter—"

I tuned him out and fled up the bloke repellant stairs, leaving him alone in the Common Room. As soon as the door shut I felt my way across the room, fell into my bed, buried my face in my pillow and let a few more tears drop in earnest.

A quiet whisper rang through the darkness of the Dormitory. "Lily?"

"Alice?" I sniffled. "I…"

In the complete darkness, I could only hear.

The shuffle of her sheets being pulled back, the creak of bedsprings as she climbed down, the soft padding of the feet moving swiftly to my bed.

She crawled on to my bed, sitting quietly next to me. I tried to cry as silently as possible, not wanting to wake anyone up, _especially_ someone like Marlene.

"What happened?" she asked carefully as I swallowed loudly.

What happened? I just embarrassed the bloody hell out of myself and messed up everything.

"I thought about it too much," I murmured, my voice cracking.

She was quiet for a moment, as my silent tears threatened to become sobs.

I felt her hand on my arm. "Oh, Lily…"

I turned towards her and she wrapped me in a hug, letting me ruin her signed Jinx Brothers nightgown with tears. "Lily, I'm so sorry."

* * *

I woke up later than normal, but still early enough to grab breakfast. Alice was the only one left in the Dormitory.

"Hi," she said when she realized I was awake. "I was trying not to wake you up. Was I too loud?" she cringed and came to sit by me. "Do you feel better?"

"Not really," I croaked, clearing my throat and sitting up. "I have a terrible headache. Are my eyes puffy?"

She shook her head. "No, you look great. Are you ready to go face your boyfriend?"

I winced at the thought. "What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Oh I don't know Lily," she said exasperatedly, throwing some clothes at me to pull on. "Perhaps how you don't hate him? I peeked down in the Common Room earlier and he was just sitting there looking like he was about to cry."

I protested weakly, mumbling about how he'd get over it, but she ignored me and towed me out of the Dorms and into the Common Room…where a certain someone was pacing.

"Lily!" he exclaimed, relieved. "I was getting worried. Are you okay?"

I nodded, noticing that he must have already gone to Madam Pomfrey because his lips looked as perfect as ever. I suddenly felt very self-conscious, seeing as I had just rolled out of bed and done nothing to fix my appearance. He didn't seem to notice and continued blabbering on .

"Are you sure? Because last night—"

"Let's not talk about last night," I muttered, exhaling heavily.

"Why?" he asked, furrowing his brow. "See you are still mad, I know it!"

Alice managed to give me an encouraging squeeze on the arm and slipped away; I collapsed into an armchair. "I wasn't mad, James."

"I'm sorry I upset you," he said, taking a seat on the arm of the couch. "I was moving too fast, wasn't I? Merlin, it's just so bloody hard to not kiss you after I've waited so long, but if you want to go slow, then I will too. Please don't be mad."

My next sentence got stuck in my throat as I stared at him in shock. Was he really blaming himself and letting me off the hook? I sighed. "James…"

"I mean, that is of course, assuming you accidentally bit me because I scared you, and not that you bit me on purpose because you didn't want me to snog you at all. You…didn't do it on purpose, did you?" His shoulder tensed up as he looked at me worriedly.

"No!" I said immediately. "Of course not!" The truth. I could tell him the truth.

"Good," he said, noticably relaxing and reaching out his hand to take mine. "Then it's decided. We'll go slowly and you'll forgive me."

"No," I disagreed, taking a deep breath. His hand tightened around mine in panic.

"You won't forgive me? Lily, don't do this!"

I held up a finger and he fell silent, watching me through troubled eyes as I tried to explain myself. "I…I don't want you not to kiss me, I want to kiss you, I'm just not as good at it, and I know I'll mess it up…I wasn't mad, I was embarrassed, and you—"

"Lily…"

"—obviously have more experience than me, considering you know, your looks, and your history, and I just didn't want you to hate me, or be freaked out—"

"Lily," he tried to interrupt me again, but I ignored him, determinedly plowing on with my confession.

"—what kind of girl bites you on accident? That's not normal, right? I bet that's never happened to you. I just don't want to fall short of your expectations, and I must warn you, that's probably going to happen, so…"

"_Lily._"

I looked at him nervously, biting my lip and he tugged on my hand. "Come here," he said softly. I let him pull me up out of my armchair and over to him until I was standing between his legs.

His eyes found mine and held them, a blazing color of hazel I'd never seen before. I didn't even realize he was leaning in until the tip of his nose skimmed mine.

I inhaled sharply and took a step back, hitting the armchair I'd just vacated. "James…"

"Yes?" he asked calmly, pulling me back towards him.

"I…"

"Didn't you just say that the only reason you didn't kiss me is because you're afraid of messing up?"

His sure fingers tilted my chin up and my stomach did an uncomfortable flip. "Well…yes, but—"

"Just relax and let me do all the work," he purred, his signature smirk tugging at the end of his lips.

"But what if I bite you again?"

"Don't worry about that," he murmured.

"But what if-"

"It'll be better if you don't talk, I promise," he teased, moving his hand from my chin and running his fingers through my bed head. As his hand reached the nape of my neck, he suddenly paused twisting his fingers in my tresses and pulling me gently towards him.

His lips met mine, softly at first and sufficiently stopping any worries I had previously had. I couldn't worry, I couldn't even think as his kiss became more urgent and I hesitantly stepped closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

His hands found my waist, anchoring me in place in case I tried to get away, which I definitely had no intention of doing at this point.

James controlled the kiss so expertly, so effortlessly, it was nice. Years of pent up desire was pouring out of him as he clutched me tightly and his tongue ran over my bottom lip begging for permission to explore my mouth. I opened my mouth slightly and he deepened the kiss, making fireworks explode in the very pit of my stomach and the darkest recesses of my mind.

He was everywhere at the same time and as his hands sent tingles down my spine as they began to caress my back; I smiled against his mouth, feeling a surge of happiness when his lips curved up to match mine.

A loud, obnoxious whistle broke us apart and I looked, bleary-eyed towards the sound of the interruption. Sirius was lounging in an armchair across the room, looking too entertained for his own good.

"Nice _job_ Jamesie!" he said, grinning widely. "I'm so proud of you!"

James had eyes for no one but me, and as I glared at Sirius, James obliviously ignored him and kept his eyes trained on me, goofily grinning.

"_Black_," I growled, "get out of here."

"_You_ get out of here," he retorted, crossing his arms. "The common room is a public place! I'm allowed to be here."

Marlene entered the portrait hole and Sirius jumped to his feet before I could threaten to hex him. "Lucky for you, I was just about to find a broom closet to snog my girl in before Transfiguration. I don't believe in PDA, you see. Carry on."

He dismissed the conversation with a wave of his hand and walked over to Marlene, who was giggling uncontrollably.

"Wait," I called after him. "I thought you had a thing for Alice!"

He snorted, tossing me a grin over his shoulder as he climbed out of the portrait hole. "Oh, Lily pad—"

"Don't call me that!"

"—you have so much to learn."

I frowned as the portrait hole swung shut. "I'm glad Alice is with Frank," I confided in James, turning towards him shyly.

He was still grinning, watching me unabashedly and as our eyes locked again he groaned and pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug. "Yeah? Well I'm glad you're with me."

I inhaled his scent and let a smile spread over my face as I murmured, "Me too."

He chuckled lowly before pressing his lips softly against the top of my head. My face seemed to tilt upwards of its own volition, and my lips found his easily, like it was always supposed to have been this way and I was too stubborn to let it happen before now.

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked, breaking the kiss for a moment.

"James Potter," I sighed, glaring at him. "For once in your life, can you stop talking?"

A cheeky grin broke out over his face and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer. "I can't help it, _Evans_, I can't control myself with you around."

"Shove off, Toerag," I giggled, pecking his cheek quickly before extracting myself with difficulty from his grasp. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get ready for classes today."

"Aw, come on," he whined, pouting heavily. "Can't we skip classes, just for today?"

I ignored him and darted up to the dormitories, finding comfort in the fact that while some things may change, the little things would always stay the same.

_a/n: THE END. :) I REALLY hope you liked it, and hope that you'll tune in whenever I get my next story up and running...it might take awhile considering school just started and chaos is rearing it's ugly head. Don't miss your last chance to review and tell me what you thought about the story! _


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